The Howard Family Est. May 6 2006

Back on the Wagon...

2012-02-12T22:03:00.002-07:00

Yes. I am back to making actual meals again. It's rather nice when I plan things out for the month, because thinking about WHAT to make seems to be half the battle. Once I've decided and prepared ahead of time by shopping for two weeks in advance than whipping up the actual meal isn't too difficult. And it's refreshing to be able to mix up the different types of dinners....

(Mexican)

Enchiladas over sliced up lettuce and brown rice.

(Italian)

Fettecini chicken alfredo with asparagus.

(American)

I didn't cheat, we went out to eat on Saturday to the one and only five guys. I have to say it may be a little on the spendy side for a burger and fries, but I believe the taste and quality are worth the extra bucks. Plus we only splurge for this once in a while. Gotta love the heaping pile of peanut fried french fries. Yum!

(Italian)

Spaghetti with crusted Parmesan chicken and a tomato basil sauce with french bread.

(American)

BBQ pulled pork with tomato slices on hoggie roll sandwhiches with a side of sassy BBQ chips.

Although it may take a little prepration in advance, it's really nice to go through a week and not have to think once, "Oh crap dinner's coming up, what am I going to make?" Now I simply glance at our calender. And another plus is we usually spend less money through the month on impulse grocery buys.

What's your favorite dinner dish???

30 weeks

2012-01-31T05:44:00.152-07:00

Well, it has finally arrived.... the last part of my third trimester. I never thought I'd even make it this far (as this pregnancy has seemed to have been lasting an eternity). But here I am: 30 weeks pregnant and getting rather excited for the last several weeks.

Highlights thus far:

--Sometime between 14-16 weeks, I believe, feeling Pula kick for the first time.

--5 months, no more morning (or rather all day) sickness. Food and I are friends again. Yay!

--6 months finding out our Pula was a HEALTHY boy. And reserving the right to name him. I know it's killing some of you not to know, don't worry only 10 more weeks, give or take a few days.

--7 months Tyler feels not little, but STRONG kicks from Pula. It's becoming more real to him.

--8 months... well, we're just getting started on that one, but hopefully it will go rather well.

Oh. I had one of those third trimester experiences where I felt a sudden urge to punch some idiot in the face while grocery shopping.

Just so you know, fellow men who are reading this blog, it is not considered polite to comment on how an expecting mother looks as if "she's going to have her baby in 30 seconds".... because if she's NOT going to have that baby in 30 seconds (or even 3 months-- thanks for the reminder, buddy) you have clearly insulted her indirectly by making her feel a.)that she's so plump and fat she MUST be having the baby right there in the grocery store or b.)that she can leave said grocery store to go home and feel depressed that she has MONTHS more to go instead of just mere seconds.

Any way you want to look at it, you've done her no favor by making that thoughtless comment. Instead of saying something like: "You look tired" or "You look like you're about to pop!" or "Wow, would you look at that belly!" just shut your trap, smile at her and say: "Wow miss, you look great."

Isn't odd how being pregnant has this weird effect on the people around you? It seems that pregnancy brings out the strongest of emotions-- in OTHER people (pregnant women too of course, but that's to be expected, isn't it?) Complete strangers feel the need to make comments about your body, give you advice, and if you're REAL lucky they proceed to touch you-- mostly your protruding belly, of course, but still isn't the idea of me doing those things to a complete stranger (lets say, even a MAN) absurd?

Could you simply imagine me saying to some fat gentleman: "Wow, sir, it looks as if your belly's about to pop!" or even better... "Gee you sure did outgrow that shirt about three sizes ago!" Yes. Perhaps those comments might be tolerated from a 3 year old kid, but for ME an adult WOMAN to say that to another adult?? Surely, I would at least receive some dirty looks if not a piece of their mind.

And yet I've received those kind of remarks from men. It would be ludicrous to even think about saying those things to someone, yet everyone feels the need to say something to pregnant women.

Why is that?

I know that there are many people who relish in the experience of pregnancy, men and women alike. Witnessing a pregnant woman is like getting a glimpse of the miracle that in the process....

However I would like to make a small request to all those well-meaning strangers out there. You can smile at me, you can ask if I would like your help, you can ask if I would like to sit down, but please.... for the love of Pete don't comment on how big, huge, large, round, stretched, gigantic, enormous or how 'out there' my belly is.

Because while you may think it's clever small talk, what you're really doing is egging on an uncomfortable pregnant lady who's carrying a great amount of extra weight and reminding her that the only thing that's going to "pop" in the grocery store is your mouth when she socks it to ya.

All kidding aside (not necessarily about those strangers making seemingly "harmless" comments, but about me wishing I had to nerve to give it back to them) I DID hear that phrase about "having a baby in the next 30 seconds". I sort of did a double take and looked at him like: 'Uh and how would you like me to respond to that without getting all mean and ugly?' Instead I politely said, "No, I have three more months to go, thank you for reminding me" and walked away.

I'm just glad that one of my dearest school friends mother works at Winco as a cashier and upon going over to say hello to her she said to me: "Oh my gosh Kati. You are so tiny, is that all the bigger you are?"

Talk about a 180* from the last comment I got. It was the perfect thing to say to a huge, waddling, uncomfortable, pregnant lady. Thank you Janet Kays for recovering my faith in the human society and their ability to say the right thing at the right time. You lifted my spirits. You know how to make a preggo lady blush. ;)

Everyday life.

2012-01-31T05:33:00.001-07:00

My boys think they are pretty funny. They decided that while I was getting the house cleaned up (I always try to pick up the house before Tyler gets home, because who want come home to a big mess after a stressful day at work?) they would get cozy in MY bed. They were laughing and thought they had fooled me into thinking they were somewhere else.

B thought me telling him to get off my bed was hilarious and gave me this face:

It's happened again. I'm in a cooking dinner slump. One particular night I decided to get creative and we had fried potatoes, scrambled eggs with green onions, parmesean cheese, and sweet italian sausage, with a side of kiwis and frsh blueberries. As far as last minute dinners go it was pretty yummy.

My homeboys.... :)

Jimmer Fever! lol

2012-01-30T05:19:00.000-07:00

Tyler had the opportunity to watch the Blazers v. King game. My dad treated himself, my youngest brother Karter and Tyler to some great seats about 14 rows from the bench. Tyler loved it. He wanted to try and get a picture with Jimmer, but was unsuccessful. Although the Kings lost, Tyler still said it was fun. And of course he got his free Chalupah after! :) The pictures are ones Tyler took, since I wasn't there, clearly we know who's better equipped with my camera.

An exciting new start.

2012-01-30T04:57:00.001-07:00

Almost two weeks ago my mom told me that my sister and her husband were going to come up for a weekend "visit" in which, Gil-- her husband-- was going to have a job interview. It was exciting to think of the possibility of them moving up here, as they have lived in California for the past several years.

Well, they came up, Gil had his interview.... and within 72 hours he was given a job offer, accepted it, they found a place to live in NE Portland and are making plans to move up by mid February.

It's amazing how things turned out. It reminds me so much of situation when moving from Boise to Portland. It was a time in our life when things were kind of looking down, but through faith and hard work we were able to get through those difficult times. Now, here we are...living in Portland and loving it. The opportunities that have been presented to us never cease to amaze us at how far we've come. We have been tremendously blessed.

While at my parents house for the weekend Tyler and I went on a little lunch date to the newly opened Jimmy Johns near their house. We have heard great things about the place and decided to give it a try.

Sadly, I was a little disappointed. It is not that I thought it was horrible; the place was extremely clean, the staff was friendly, and our food arrived promptly after we ordered--- it's just that I didn't find myself loving it as much as I do Quiznos.

Sorry Jimmy John lovers. :(

The boys had a blast while cousin Lexi was in town. They all ran around Grammie and Grandpa's house til they were so worn out at night. Grammie also let B and Lexi bug help her make brownies. It's pretty clear on what their jobs were.... (to eat-- the batter, that it.)

And eat they did. Doing a great job of it and enjoying every second helping Grammie out. :)

They also had a great time in the "theater room" (which is a fancy term for the walk in closet in the kids' room downstairs that Grammie has collected all the classic Disney VHS movies for them to watch. She has QUITE the collection, too!) I thought it was cute that they were all snuggled up on the floor watching movies together.

I think it's fair to say that we are excited for the Toolson Robledo family to move this way! We hope many more great things will be in store for them here. :)

Nothing is more fun than Bubbles in the bathtub...

2012-01-29T16:57:00.000-07:00

My boys SURE do love taking their baths! They have the most fun when I let them put all their water toys in the tub and then they proceed to squirt each other and squeal... It is something that makes even me, laugh.

Surprised....

2012-01-21T04:38:00.001-07:00

There are moments as a mother where my children surprise me. Sometimes it's by something they say, or something they do.

The other night I was quite surprised when I went in to check on Braxton and found not one little boy in his bed, but two. I was a little shocked to say the least-- seeing as how they spend the moajority of the day fighting-- to find them snuggled in bed together.

It was a sweet moment for sure, as I'm well aware that teenage boys won't find it so endearing to sleep together in a twin bed.

So for now, I'm recording it and tucking it away in my most treasured memories....

Blazers v. Clippers

2012-01-20T04:09:00.003-07:00

Tyler was able to score some tickets to the Blazers/ Clippers game for a great price from a discount he receives through work. We decided it would be fun to treat my youngest brother, Karter, and my dad to going with us.

Although the seats were a little higher up, we still had an enjoyable time. I had a hard time trying to zoom in (which my camera does well), but not being able to use my flash. Thus some of the pictures are a little blurry, but you get the idea.

The players lining up for the national anthem.

My favorite part, aside from watching the actual game) was getting to see the cheerleaders (something you don't get to watch on TV). I love being at an actual game-- hearing the crowd roaring to life, watching the dancers and cheerleaders, feeling the vibrations from the speakers and the arena, seeing two people get chosen from the crowd for silly free throw shooting games, observing people become incredibly outrageous over a bad call, I love the atmosphere, the music, and most of all I love that I get to be there with my husband. Watching him light up, feeling his hands get sweaty when the score is close, seeing him smile because he's happy to be watching something he loves, and best of all getting a couple of kisses. :)

What more can I say, except for that we had a wonderful time, the Blazers won (whoo hoo!), we had great company, awesome food, and left the game with our free Chalupahs! :) Ha ha, we got a good laugh about that since the tickets we paid for and the overpriced food more than paid for those Chalupahs we got when they scored over 100 points, but it was still fun.

After herding out of the arena, somewhat cattle style, we had the most entertaining part of watching people cram onto the trams. We were lucky enough to be able to get on one later that wasn't so full.

Thanks for an awesome night of fun babe!

A gift from Great Grandma Rena

2012-01-19T03:43:00.005-07:00

The boys got little suit jackets from their great grandma Rena for Christmas. They look so handsome in them. I tried to get a shot of them in their suits, but as you can tell from the pictures below it was after church and they were a little grouchy and ready for naps.

Then I attempted to get a shot of the boys together with Tyler since they looked so cute, but as you can tell, B wasn't having it.

Thank you Grandma Rena, the jackets are so wonderful. :)

A visit to Grammie and Grandpas.

2012-01-18T03:17:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we went up to my parents house for a day. The boys had a blast rough housing with Grandpa Loren.

First they decided to pile all these blankets up on him... which surprisingly, or not surprisngly enough, he tolerated without even a peep.

Then they spent every ounce of energy bugging him, talking in his ear, jumping on him, throwing pillows on him, dog piling, and climbing on him. I think this is one of the reasons Braxton loves Bupah so much, becuase he tolerates just about anything for the sake of them having fun.

Exhibit A:

I suppose he got a little bit even by doing a little tickling.

Don't you just love Braxton's somewhat evil expression while he's trying to get another jab in at Grandpa Loren?

By the end of night they were completely exhuasted from running, jumping, yelling, squealing, and climbing all over "bupah" (as Braxton refers to his best buddy.)

It was a fun trip.

Being sweet

2012-01-17T15:17:00.000-07:00

I love the moments where my boys are actually getting along... and so it brings a smile to my face to see them sitting on the couch with thier dad reading books.

Ones man's trash is another man's treasure.

2012-01-06T04:26:00.000-07:00

Braxton got some finger paints from Santa. I decided to brave letting the boys paint one day... they had a blast.

Braxton was pretty happy that he got to dip his fingers in the paint and then express himself however he felt like on the paper.

We did have a few occasions where he tried eating though.

Quincy thoroughly concentrating on his masterpiece.

B getting creative.

I love the rare opportunities that Braxton actually smiles for the camera. It's usually a small one, but the fact that it's there is good enough for me.

About the title to the post...I got this race car track from a family friend that goes WAY back. It was a track that her grandsons used while at her house and they had gotten too old for. She was kind enough to pass it along to me. Thus her "trash" has become my boys' "treasure". They LOVE this thing! It is by far one of their most favorite 'toys'. A place where they can play out their car fantasies. I will love it even more when Braxton figures out how to race Quincy instead of just trying to pull apart the track.

Still, I'll enjoy the little moments where they are actually playing well together.

Quincy got this airport mat from his cousin Jakoby during Christmas. I helped them set up the airport next to the race track so not only are we having races on the track, but we are also coordinating flights at the airport. :) [It seems there is a little too much traffic on the airport runway for any flights to get out.]

Braxton repeatedly says something over and over until I say it back to him. He kept holding this truck in my face and saying "chuh- chuh". Did I mention how much I can't wait for him to say real words?

I love B's little long john style cotton jammies, he looks so cute in them!

All that playing was bound to catch up to them sooner or later. Braxton, who's recently decided that he can "function" on 6 hours of sleep and a 1 hour nap, looked like this at 11:00AM. It's rather frustrating because he wakes up early, wants to nap early (and only for an hour), and then he is tired for the night by 6:00PM. Ugh! Did I mention that B has also learned how to open his bedroom door by himself? It makes for real fun "mornings" when he wakes up and decides it's time to play when it's still dark outside.

Quincy would have never fallen asleep like this on the floor! My kids are total opposites. Although there is one area where they have some common ground: Independence. Both think they have the right to do what they want, when they want to. They think they know best, and that I'm some nitwit mother who's dummer than a doorknob. I regularly remind myself that this Independence thing WILL pay off when they're older. For now, it just sucks.

And lastly, speaking of Independence... Quincy decided that this was an appropriate outfit for a cold winter night. Don't you love the basketball shorts, Brazil T shirt, and pulled up tube socks? So his feet don't get cold.....

**Sigh**

They were being kind of funny while I was taking these pictures, because they WANTED me to take them, but could hardly sit still enough to smile for the camera before running over to me so they could look at themselves.

Braxton was even gung-ho about the idea of smiling for the camera and I managed to catch one....

....... Right here.

Gotta love my crazy boys!

Happy New Year at 27 weeks!

2012-01-04T11:44:00.000-07:00

It's about time a wrote a little pregnancy update on here. Finally, we're headed into the LAST and FINAL trimester. I would be lying if I said I wasn't totally elated that I'm almost done. This pregnancy has been one gigantic roller coaster with many ups and downs and I will be most relieved to have settled into some sort of normalcy once again.

25 weeks

27 weeks....

I know it's hard to tell in the above picture, but my belly really is bigger than the 25 week picture.

Recent changes:

**I can now feel sharp little jabs, somersaults, and kicks from Pula, which leads me to believe that the placenta must have moved. Before it was between my skin and the baby and any movement felt was MUCH more muffled than it is now.

** I'm noticing that Pula favors my right side. Also, he likes to use my bladder as a kickboxing bag. Feels really awesome! ;)

** I have a hard time sleeping on my back, which is unfortunate for me because I'm a back sleeper. It's too uncomfortable to sleep like that now, I feel as if a gigantic bowling ball has been strapped to my stomach and is suffocating me while I sleep.... hmmm... I wonder why that is.

** I notice that some days my appetite is significant, where nothing seems to ease it. Other days food doesn't even sound good at all. Pula, you must be going through some major growth spurts!

**I am tired ALL the time! I don't think it matters how much sleep I get, it never seems to alleviate the exhaustion I feel. I cannot survive on less that 7 hours a night.

**Fresh fruit is still one of the only things that sounds good to me at any given moment. Specifically berries (blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries) are my preference.

** I am feeling more anxiety about how to handle having three children. Moreover, how to raise THREE boys. I look at the two energetic ones I already have and the thought seems totally overwhelming. I'm trying to realize that there will be a learning curve just as there was going from 1 kid to 2, and that now I have Quincy as an extra little helper.

**I can't stand clutter. (I never really have had a tolerance for it, but recently it's really irritating to see.) Whenever I see its presence I feel the instant need to rid of it, I think it just adds to that overwhelming anxieties I already feel with the ever approaching date of our little one.

** Tyler has felt more movement. Quincy did have his hand on my tummy to feel Pula kick, but didn't recognize the movement. Braxton thinks that it's so funny to see my protruding belly button....

**Yes, my innie belly button is now and outtie...

**I can no longer wear my prepregnancy jeans. I had one pair left that I could wear, until just recently.

** I am excited to see Pula. I can't wait to watch Braxton's reaction to his new little brother and see him playing the role of big brother. I know that Quincy will already do well.... he did such a great job when Braxton was a baby. Yesterday Braxton got out his baby book and we looked at it together, him proudly pointing to his baby self and say "bra bra" -- Braxton. He smiled sweetly as he pointed to each picture of me holding him and said "mama".

It's undeniable.

I am excited and terrified all at the same time with each weeks passing.

Will I be able to be a good mother to three children?

How will this son differ from the other two, as they are so distinctly their own persons?

Will my delivery and recovery go smoothly, or will it be harder than the previous time, each time seems to be more difficult?

How will I manage to go anywhere with only two hands and arms and six ones reaching for mine?

I frequently find these thoughts making a never ending loop in the back of my mind.

Most days I just try and take it one step at a time, other days I have a good cry and then take a deep breath. Because I know, of course, I won't get any of the answers to those questions until I get to that point, so why worry? Well, I know the answer to that one: I'm a worrier by nature.

However, I won't let that freeze me in fear that I'm incapable of doing great things. Sure, three kids (three BOYS) will be a challenge for me, but aren't some of the most rewarding experiences challenging at one point or another?

Life is about learning, stretching and reaching toward new goals (something we just talked about with Quincy for our New Year's FHE), growing, and finding joy. There will be pain along the way---- but ...YES... there will be joy.

And isn't that wonderful to know?

Hoping this new year brings wonderful, exciting, and maybe just the teensiest bit challenging experiences for you and your families.

I am excited for 2012!

Christmas Day

2011-12-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

After we went to an hour of church we came home and had a little mini photo shoot with the families.

Our kids look really thrilled about taking a picture, don't they? I still thought they looked epseically handsome in their new sweaters, Tyler too.

Our boys.

Quincy, Jakoby, and Braxton.

All the cousins...

(Probably the best one, considering they are all actually looking in the same direction.)

Grandparents and grandkids... this was especially tough...

Almost everyone is looking.

"If you want candy raise your hands." Ha ha

Jakoby and Taylee.

Trevor, Heather, Jakoby, and Taylee.

And lastly, the boys with Grandma and Grandpa.

Christmas Morning.

2011-12-29T07:31:00.003-07:00

All the adults agreed that 8:30AM would be the time we would let the kids open presents. I, personally, didn't think our kids would last that long in their beds and when 7:40 rolled around they were awake. We had to try and keep them downstairs until 8:00when everyone else's children seemed to be awake.

It was a little like controlled chaos. Everyone had an area with their stockings and then after we started into the presents under the tree, which lasted a good hour.

You know what's funny? I asked Quincy what his favorite present was and he said his magnifying glass. (Which ironically cost Santa the least amount of money to have his elves make.)

Braxton got a Cars look and find book and immediately wanted to start looking at it.

Quincy had to help Braxton keep focused on opening the rest of his gifts.

Once he got to the gummy bears at the bottom of his stocking he had a one track mind and opening more stuff wasn't on the agenda. We had to bribe him with a gummy bear per present opened.

The boys each got new beanies.

And Quincy got his Cars 2 movie (which we've watched five times since the morning it was opened until now). He was pretty happy about this gift.

This pile of paper is only about a third of what was in the living room that morning.

Quincy also got a Cars puzzle story book.

Rylie got a lot of technical toys-- a cell phone, and a laptop among other things. I think all the kids thought the laptop was pretty cool and had to take a break from their toys to check out her stuff.

Braxton had to take a break to eat some Kix -- so he would have the energy to open more stuff.

Grandma and Grandpa got the boys lots of clothing, which they were in great need of, but Quincy also asked for this football.

It was a little chaotic, but Christmas morning was an overall success.

Christmas Eve

2011-12-29T00:31:00.009-07:00

After we came back from the exciting adventure with the police car we had our Christmas dinner. I didn't take any pictures during dinner, however we had the traditional ham and scalloped potatoes with all the sides.

When everyone was finished and dinner was cleaned up we all got together in the living room for a quick and condensed version of the story of Christ's birth. I think Quincy was the only one who made it through the whole story, but the rest of the kids were listening in their own way. :)

When Aunt Heather was done reading all the grand kids got to open ONE present from Grandma and Grandpa.

They were excited.

They all got NEW (matching) JAMMIES!

Our attempts at getting picture of all the boys together...

Their "silly faces".

And we can't forget the girlie's and their cute jammies... sadly this is the only picture I have of them.

Afterwards it was time for bed so Santa could get to work delivering their presents.

Christmas Eve Ride in a Police Car

2011-12-28T08:17:00.001-07:00

Derek's girlfriend Melissa let our boys come over to see her dad's police car. The boys all thought it was so cool. He turned on the lights, let them run all around the car, play with the spot light, sit in the driver seat, play with the turn signals, turn on the siren (I'm sure their neighbors appreciated that) and --most importantly-- take a ride in it.

Yes, what could be more fun than taking a ride in the back of the police car on Christmas Eve? Especially when you don't have to sit buckled in a car seat, or a seat belt, and you get to go 65 MPH on the back country roads.

In the eyes of all our boys... nothing was so cool as that ride! :)

Christmas Lights

2011-12-28T07:03:00.003-07:00

We decided Thursday night to drive around and let the boys look at Christmas lights. I have to say, it was a bit of a challenge in a small (mostly) farming town to find some really spectacular lights, but we did manage to see some pretty good ones. We actually stopped by a guy's house that Tyler went to school with first. (It's the picture below.) The house was small, but it definitely was full of lots of lights. There was even music playing. It sort of made me laugh because we had just watched the movie 'Deck the Halls' which was a spoof on crazy neighbors and insane amounts of lights. I thought to myself, I wonder how the neighbors feel about that music?

Both the boys thought it was pretty cool.

The other thing I have to add is that Jakboy wanted to go look at lights too and so Heather, Trevor, Kent and Teesy were in their car leading the way. At one point I was laughing hysterically because Trevor was cruising through some of the neighborhoods so quickly our boys could hardly see the lights before we were passing them. We'd shout to Quincy 'Quick look out your window.... there's some more. Look fast and don't blink.' Ha ha ha. It was still fun.

And since my pictures are from our car... they don't quite capture the better houses we did see.

Everyone knows Santa rides around on a Harley in his spare time.

I thought this one was cute with the Manger scene lit up in their yard. It seems rare that you see religious Christmas lights displayed in people's yards.

After everyone was done we drove past this last house. It has that sign that says "musical", yet we heard no music. Maybe they turn it off at night for their neighbor's sakes. Although, isn't that when people look at lights? I dunno. We still had lots of fun.

Just hanging out...

2011-12-28T05:20:00.000-07:00

The kids all ate at the kiddie table... well, they tried to eat and did a lot of walking around. Also we figured out that any food on any plate was fair game for whatever kid got to it.

Wednesday the boys (and Rylie-- I had a shot of all of the kids, but somehow accidently deleted it-- Grrr!) went for a walk with Grandma and Grandpa to see some ducks and a beaver dam on the property. I don't think they made it all the way, it was a long walk for little legs, but they sure did get out a lot of energy. Noticed how they are all bundled up? They needed that because it was seriously freezing cold outside.

A day in Boise

2011-12-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

Tyler and I decided to take the boys to Boise for a little last minute shopping and to let them see the blue field. It was FREEZING!!! Seriously nasty and windy the kind of cold that ripped right through you. We were lucky enough that one of the guys who was doing some maintenance let us go ON to the field. The boys loved running on it.

After getting out lots of energy we ate lunch at a place called Tangos, which had authentic Argentine style empanadas.

On our drive back to Fruitland we stopped at Sports Authority for Derek. The boys had fun playing a little put put golf.

And after a long day in Boise this is how all three looked in our back seat. (And NO, Derek is not fake sleeping.)

A night of fun with the Grandparents

2011-12-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night all the siblings decided that we would go out for a group date. Grandpa and Grandma agreed to watch all the little ones for us. Braxton had his usual amount of fun playing with his buddy Apollo.

Grandpa Kent and his "baby" Apollo.

Grandma made everyone popcorn.....

And they finished out the night by watching movies...

While they were having the kids were having fun with Grandma and Grandpa we all went bowling.

It was dollar night so we were able to play a few games. Derek, Tyler, and I were on one team. Trevor, Heather, and Melissa were on the other. Our team won the first round and then they won the other one. I started out with a strike my first bowl [it was a fluke, for sure, but a rather nice way to start]. Tyler did much better than I did. And won the game for our side. Trevor won for their team. Tyler kept telling me (after like scoring three 9's in a row) that I needed to put more muscle into it....

I wanted to go all out, but seeings as how I was carrying one bowling ball in my stomach and the other in my hand I felt quite disproportionated. I was terrified that if I went into my bowl "all out" I'd end up sliding face down on my stomach. Thus I settled for a horrible score the second round.

It didn't really matter we all had fun none the less.

Thanks for a fun night!

Cousin Time

2011-12-22T17:40:00.000-07:00

All these cousins sure have had a lot of quality time playing together.

My boys are fascinated by baby Taylee. Sure wish we could have a little girl. It's so sweet watching them play gently with her.

Taylee is such a happy baby. I think I've only heard her cry like twice since we've been here.

And these boys are quite the trio. They have been nothing but trouble since they got together. However, they manage to have pretty long spurts of when they are getting along and playing well together. In the pictures above and below they were getting too mischievous for grandma to get anything done in the kitchen and so we put the Cars movie into our laptop for them to watch.They did sit there like that for a little while.

Taylee was a little outnumbered until yesterday... all those boys. Thank goodness Rylie came!

Man's... errr 22 month old's Best friend

2011-12-20T04:23:00.001-07:00

It might seem unlikely, but Braxton [who is now 22 months old] has grown quite fond of someone since we have arrived in Idaho.

It's THIS little 5 month old puppy named Apollo:

Watching the two of these guys play has been hilarious. Apollo thinks he's a little puppy [which clearly he's the size of an adult dog, but has the playfulness of the young 5 month old he is]. Braxton thinks Apollo is his pal and runs around following him, watching him, talking to him, hugging him, throwing balls or things at him, and not ONCE has Apollo retaliated.

It's pretty darn cute, watching the "babies" play together.

Off to Idaho we Go!

2011-12-20T04:04:00.001-07:00

Saturday the 16th we got up extra early (for the weekend anyways) and left for Fruitland to be with Tyler's family over Christmas. It's not exactly the MOST fun drive when you have little restless kids, but we managed okay for the 7 hour drive.

The boys spent the beginning of the trip by reading books.

I love that Braxton is so engrossed in that Cars book and he can't read a single word. He's just too cute.

Quincy was equally into his Dinosaurs book.

Ha ha... I especially love this picture because Braxton saw me taking a picture of him and and "tzzz"-- cheese. He then gave me his best toothy smile. It is adorable.

The books only lasted so long before they ended up getting bored... since we have made this trip several times now, we come prepared. We bring Tyler's old laptop (which has been stripped of everything except for the movie player) and let the boys watch DVD's in the back. These next few pictures of them are when they were watching the Cars movie (B's personal favorite). Look at how happy they are.

Look at those serious faces... "Uh Oh"

After stuffing in three suitcases, a play pen, warm coats, tons of gifts, blankets, pillows, toys, books, movies, and snacks into our car... we made it! It was a long drive, but we did. And Braxton's happy face in the picture above says it all. We are glad to be with family. :)

And this little monkey...

2011-12-19T03:53:00.000-07:00

.... Learned how to take off his diapers by himself. It has become a lovely surprise for me each morning that I go in to get him. Usually some or all of his clothes are off. After he successfully takes off his clothes he moves on to taking off his diaper... leaving a beautiful mess for me to clean up. Most mornings it's just that his sheets have been peed on, but there has been a morning or two that he has left a brown turd for me. Yeah. I know, it's gross, but not as gross as getting to be the person who cleans it up . After a few days of this, I decided action needed to be taken.

We took some serious action by taping his diaper with masking tape. No diaper off THAT next morning.

Such a little stinker, look at his happy grin! Since the masking tape expereiment we have moved onto putting a diaper backwards over the one he wears to bed. Since he can't get to the tabs, he can't take it off. It has worked so far....

Sweet indulgences

2011-12-19T03:46:00.000-07:00

There are just some things that are too sweet to pass up.

I love me a good cinnabon and so when Quincy requested one last week after doing some last minute holiday shopping (Tyler) I couldn't resist. It was delicious and we split two of them between the four of us. They were divine.

I also let our boys indulge in a little bit of frozen yogurt and fresh raspberries. It was SO yummy.

My little Smiley Boy...

2011-12-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

Braxton and I have been working on his smile...

He has been getting better at it...

He has also become extremely independant... wanting to do EVERYTHING by himself.

Look at the lovely artwork.

Trying to sneak eating a crayon. Silly boy!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I love that he's actually looking at the camera.

And that sly little smile, it melts my heart.

Love my little B.

24 weeks....

2011-12-13T04:07:00.000-07:00

Starting 6 months.... and getting ever closer to that LAST trimester.

I am so ready for that.

To be done.

Pregnancy and my body do not agree.

But it is much more tolerable when I think about the sweet little guy I will get to hold in my arms in about 16 more weeks.

Dear Pula:

We are all getting so excited to see you. Even your big brother Braxton likes giving you hugs. He thinks the way that you're pushing my tummy out is funny. He loves to pat you and give you kisses. He is practicing being nice to other babies he sees. He thinks its very important to point out all the babies he sees everywhere we go. He can proudly announce "ba bah". (Which in case you didn't know, is his way of saying baby.) Quincy is really excited to see you too. He asks me almost daily how many more days are left until you will come out. His knowledge of you is much better than your big brother Braxton's is. You will realize that Quincy is going to be the best BIGGEST brother you could ever ask for. He is always helping me get things for Braxton and I'm sure he will be a great help to me when you arrive. Your dad is really excited to see you as well. He is rather thrilled about having THREE boys. I'll admit, it will be no surprise to you as you get older, I was a little sad that you weren't a girl. Since being pregnant with you, I have come to realize that you belong in our family-- even as my third little boy. I'm so happy you will be joining us. I watched a video with your bothers about missionaries coming home. The first person they always hugged was their mothers. I'm happy that I get to be that first hug. You know I'll cry a lot. I already do, just thinking of you. You have an important mission here on Earth-- I just know it.

You are so loved already..... see you in 16 [or so] weeks.

Love,

Mom

All I want for Christmas....

2011-12-12T03:54:00.001-07:00

Every weekday Quincy practices his writing...

He writes ten words a day and get to put a sticker on his writing chart each time he does 10 words. After he gets 7 stickers he gets to pick out a special treat.

It's a lot of work for his little hands...

Sometimes he even tells me he's tired of writing.

But he usually finishes his words, even if some days it takes longer than necessary.

Some moms might think I'm too tough on my four year old--

That it might be okay to let him slack off and only write 3 words on a particularlly tiresome day.

BUT I know that Quincy is capable of great things.

Sometimes when we push past the feeling of giving up we realize our greatest potential.

Quincy is a perfect example of perseverance this month...

I told him he needed to write Santa a letter [since he hasn't gone to see him yet]

If he didn't tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas, then Santa wouldn't bring him anything.

I told him I'd help him write the letter.

After writing it all out in pen, I then told Quincy his job was to trace it in crayon.

He was mad at first.

I said, "Okay, if you don't want to write Santa then I guess you won't get anything from him this year."

He didn't like hearing that.

Eventually he resigned to trace the letter.

I'm sure he's so glad he did.

Now, surely Santa will bring him that Cars 2 movie he's been dying to get.

Thanks for being a good boy Quincy.

I'm proud of your hard work.

Something yummy for your tummy....

2011-12-11T03:46:00.001-07:00

Despite being sick I found the time to make us some delicious food.

[In fact, I even planned out our dinners for the past two weeks]

Last night I decided to make some Mediterranean Chicken, White Rice with a homemade Balsamic glaze, and a Veggie Salad.

It was quite scrumptuous!

(Even if Tyler said my rice looked like choclate rice krispie treats...)

Comfy and Cozy....

2011-12-10T15:46:00.000-07:00

It's that time of the year again where it's COLD outside. We have almost all (minus Tyler) managed to get the common old. My boys got it due to sick-ey nursery kids and I received it from them.

[The lovely pros of motherhood].

I have been managing alright, even with the feeling like someone's sitting on my chest and I'm trying to breath through a straw. After a long week --mostly indoors with my sick kids-- Tyler was kind enough to go to the store and pick me up some much needed nasal decongestant. Breathing takes much less effort now. He also got a bundle of firewood so we could feel the nice warm comfort that only a fire can bring.

Needless to say, the boys loved it!!

What little boy DOESN'T love fire?

They could barely pry their faces away from our fire to smile at me....

I love the comfy-ness of a fire in our fireplace with Christmas lights adding to the ambiance...

And most of all I love when my boys are being NICE to each other and snuggled up under blankets admiring the wonder of that magical thing called: fire.

There are SOME perks to being sick and even having freezing cold weather.

I get to enjoy this just a little bit more... :)

It already looks like Christmas around our house.

2011-12-07T05:05:00.000-07:00

It seems like each year our apartment gets a little cozier during the holidays. Soon we will be busting out of the seams of our 2 bedroom 1 bath home. BUT for the time being... I'm just enjoying a little cozy room trimmed with Christmas decorations.

We're going to need one more stocking....

I love having actual end tables on either side of my couch, however it meant less room for the tree...

Which had to be squished next to the door. Not exactly an ideal place for it, but no one had managed to knock it down yet.

Happy holidays everyone.

Christmas came early... for the boys anyways.

2011-12-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

We were planning on buying the boys bunk beds early next year before little Pula gets here. My parents decided to surprise us by giving us some bunk beds before Christmas as their gift. It was SO generous and nice of them. The boys have not had as much fun in a long time as they have playing or sleeping in their new bunk beds.

Grandpa Loren came to help set them up for us. He told the boys, "No playing in my tool bucket." Look where they're playing?

Guilty.

I guess Grandpa must be a pushover when it comes to his grandkids... cuz he wasn't too mad at them. Even though they were not obeying.

They were so curious as to what was going on. They simply HAD to be part of every step.

Since Tyler was at work... I got rigged into helping set it up, while Grammie supervised the boys.

Supervised the boys playing in the tools that is. Grammie's a pushover too. :)

Look Braxton's trying to "help" by "fixing" the CD player. Awesome.

Getting closer.

The boys had lots of fun (under Grammie's supervision) playing with the Styrofoam in the hallway. I had lots of fun vacuuming it all up.

Earnestly at work destroying things.

Putting the trundle part together. The instructions consisted of 2 pages with a total of 4 pictures and NO written explainations. It was a little challenging, but Grandpa and I managed to figure it out.

Quincy helping by studying the directions.

Testing out their new trundle bed.

Nighty Night!

Or maybe we'll wrestle instead of sleep....

Quincy was a little nervous about climbing up the ladder at first.

Braxton wasn't. He just climbed right up.

Quincy wasn't so scared after he saw B do it.

King of the top bunk. He loves it. It's like his personal fort up there.

Clearly Braxton loves it too.

Thanks for the new Christmas present Grammie and Grandpa! The boys LOVE it.

New bunk beds prooves to make for a perfect spot to snuggle up and read some books.

All my sweet boys.

The boys love their new beds... and I do too. :)

Howard Family 'Christmas Photo'

2011-12-05T17:22:00.001-07:00

It's a miracle.

We managed to get everyone looking at the camera AND smiling.

Thanks Bupah for getting B to crack a huge grin.

Tyler, Braxton, Kati, Pula, and Quincy 2011

Getting a family Photo is challenging....

2011-12-05T05:10:00.000-07:00

Eespecially when your subjects are uncooperative.

First we had Braxton and Lexi standing together, but Quincy refused to cooperate.

Then we finally managed to bribe Quincy into standing by Lexi to get a picture taken... AND we lost Braxton.

Finally we got all three to sit by eachother. The perfectionist in me wanted Lexi to be in the middle and the boys on the outside. And it would have been ideal if they all had their feet out in front of them. And perhaps if they would look at the camera at the same time... or smile?

But with kids, you learn to be flexible... or rather, take what you can get.

The fact that they're all sitting together and looking in the same GENERAL direction and not crying is a miracle in itself.

Braxton, who has been working on his 2 year molars... would not take that finger out!

Dang, if B had his finger out... this would have been the best one.

They are still pretty stinkin cute though!

Our Sunday Best.

The Toolson Robledo's.

Grammie and Bupah.

This was the best we could manage without someone to take our picture. Thank goodness for timers. :) Karter was gone to back to school, thus he missed the photoshoot. I'm sure he's real bummed.

Date Night.

2011-12-04T21:58:00.000-07:00

For a while now I've been excited to go see the Breaking Dawn Movie. I even re-read the book so it would be fresh in my memory. I forget how MUCH happens in the last book! I'm actually glad they split the fourth part into two movies. Tyler, who didn't read any of the books and isn't exactly a huge fan of "glittery vampires", was nice enough to take me the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

We both agreed that the movie was one of the best ones they've made yet. I thought it followed the book pretty well. There was only one scene that wasn't in the book. I had a hard time getting into the warewolves "talk", but overall the movie was enjoyable. Tyler was encouraged by the parts taking place in Brazil where he got hear Portuguese. He informed me Edward's Portuguese sucked. I was just glad to be with my guy and have a night to ourselves.

Thanks Grammie and Grandpa Loren for watching the boys!

Thanksgiving.

2011-12-04T05:46:00.000-07:00

It is pretty great that we set aside a holiday to express and reflect on the things we are grateful for.

This year I am grateful for:

The Plan of salvation. For Eternal familes. For good health. For all my boys (including the little one I have not yet seen). For my warm home. For delicious food. For modern day conveinancnes. For our Savior's birth, and death. For the beautiful things I am surrounded by daily. For scriptures. For personal revelation. For a loving and supportive husband. For prayer and for all the love I feel on a regular basis.

We ARE grateful! For cute cousins.

And for our "good sides". :)

For great food.

Fun memories.

Good laughs.

And wonderful company.

Indeed it was a wonderful Thanksgiving. And even more great that we got to spend it with almost my entire family.

(Miss you Scotty).

Just like Dad

2011-12-03T20:39:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of days that I think to myself.... Braxton is just like Tyler. (Not really in the food department, since he eats just about anything).

Reading the paper before Black Friday.

Our little copy cat.

Hmmmm... what good deals are in here?

Just like Dad: 'Don't take my picture!'

Finally a little smile.

I have to admit, the two of these guys are pretty cute.

In the mood for baking.

2011-12-03T09:39:00.001-07:00

It seems like for the longest time I couldn't eat anything, and following that I found that so many of my favorite foods gave me heartburn. Finally I have reached a comfortable stage in eating and so began the baking frenzy. Up until that point I had mostly been eating healthy or bland foods.

Well that all changed the week prior to Thanksgiving, where I craved like 5 different desserts: mini cheescakes, pumpkin cobbler, reeses peanut butter bars, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and fudge.

I didn't end up making all those in one week, don't worry, but I did make two of them prior to Turkey Day.

Mini cheescakes... so easy to make from scratch and quite delicious. Ignore the ugly cookie sheet they are on. It's the one we've had since we got married. It seen better days. I actually have another one.

Quincy liked helping me make these... though most of his "helping" consisted of eating.

So GOOOOD!

The Pumpkin cobbler. This was a new recipe that I wasn't quite sure how it'd turn out, surprisingly it was rather tasty.

Although I don't have pictures to show... I did end up making the reeses peanut butter bars, they taste just like the little cups. YUM-O. And I broke down after we got home from my parent's house for Thanksgiving and mdad the choclate chip oatmeal cookies. Fudge, might just have to wait until Christmas. :) I love to bake. As you can see.

It was even more fun being in the kitchen with my mom and sister over the holiday break!

Sunday Best.

2011-11-17T05:34:00.007-07:00

This Sunday I thought the boys were looking especially handsome in their little church clothes. Why not capture a little picture of them looking so cute?

Easier said than done... apparently. I cannot get both of them to smile in the same picture. It's nearly impossible.

What I think is funny about this outfit B has on is that Quincy was wearing it last year. The shirt alone is size 4T, granted it's a tad bit big on Mr. B, but not by much. Don't you love the little handkerchief in his pocket?

We even tried bribing B to smile with Cheeze Its, and eventually he just looked like hamster with stuffed cheeks. lol

Quincy is looking grown up lately---less 'little kid' and more 'big kid'. He also got some new church shoes (he was excited that they were like Tyler's).

Won't they be cute when they have their little brother with them?

Awwww..... my little Howard Boys. :)

The halfway mark: 20 Weeks

2011-11-16T06:21:00.007-07:00

It's official.... I've made it to the halfway point. I feel a mixture of emotions, mostly relief on account of what we've been through the last few weeks. I am happy to be big. I am happy for our little Baby Pula and his good health. I am happy that in about 4 short months (give or take) that we will get to see him.

I'm also a happy that Tyler has agreed to let me choose his name. Boys names were something I always dreaded picking out with Tyler, it was extremely rare we ever agreed on one. After our ultrasound at the specialists' office-- and upon finding out that our little one is yet another boy-- I told Tyler I thought that it was only fair that I should get to pick his name out. How could he argue me on the subject after everything we had been through? He gave me the okay on one condition: he said that he was allowed two 'vetos'.

I agreed.

I already have his name picked out... though it we won't be sharing until he's born.

[We've got to have something to surprise everyone with. :) ]

Tyler actually likes it too.....

19 weeks

20 weeks

There isn't too much excitement in the pregnancy at this point-- and really, I could do with a little LESS excitement these days. At the moment I am content to recognize each little kick, jab (which are softened lots from the placenta in front of him) and fluttering somersault. I only get up twice in the night for potty trips, so nice to get a little more sleep. I am only sick-ish in the morning which is easily fixed by getting some food in me. I rarely suffer from heartburn, yay! I am also beginning to LOVE food again. Hallelujah. I know I've gained somewhere around 13 pounds thus far... and the doctor has allowed me to gain a healthy 25-35 pounds during this pregnancy.

Here's our little Pula and his profile.

Quincy is currently under the impression that Pula will look more like Braxton than him.

We shall see....

As soon as the ultrasound technician went over an area of our little baby I recognized exactly what that tiny arrow was pointing to.

I suppose that we are awfully good at making little boys.

Although these two pictures (above and below) might seem insignificant in many ways... seeing Pula's opened hand was a blessing (since clenched hands would have been an indicator in signs for Trisomy 18.)

Another wave from Pula. So happy to see five little fingers pass over the screen.

Again... (I know these pictures are a little difficult to see, taking a picture of a picture isn't easy, but you get the idea--hopefully--) here are Pula's ten tiny toes and we couldn't have been happier to see his perfect little feet. (No rocker bottom feet on our baby boy.)

Pula:

Your mama loves you more than anything. I am so happy you will get to meet your brother's here on Earth. I am thankful you are strong. I am thankful you have a daddy and two big brothers to show you how to be a righteous young man someday. We can't wait to see in about 4 months...

Love,

Mama

Braxton at 21 Months....

2011-11-10T06:06:00.003-07:00

It's hard to believe that Braxton isn't that far away from turning two!

We see him growing before our eyes... aside from the fact that he is physically a big boy (catching Quincy quickly) I notice him growing in other ways.

He is currently shown a great interest in reading, although he still doesn't have much patience to sit through very long books. I often find him sitting down with a book in his lap, turning pages, and taking in the pictures. He has added some new sounds to his vocabularly: Ga, Ca, Ssss, Ra, and Ta. He has made more of an effort in saying some words, but overall has his own little language consisting of sounds and gestures. He gets frustrated when I don't give him what he's motioning for, but I've been trying really hard to get him to say the word aloud- or at least TRY. He can say Car, and has taken an interest in the word 'clock' (cah). He says dada all the time. Any time I call on the phone he says "bapuh" (grandpa). He holds the phone to his ear and says "He-doh" (hello). He says "kar kar" (Karter). He says ra (red), ga (green), ba (blue- or black), ya ya (yellow). Instead of saying "Uh oh" he just says "uh", leaving off the oh part. He loves to wrestle with Tyler. He has quite the assortment of animal sounds: dog (woo woo), cat (bahw), bird (he makes an 'o' with his lips and tries to whistle), chicken (bawk bawk), horse (baaaw), sheep (baaa), rooster (caah ca), duck (cah cak), frog (ri buh), snake (sssss), bear (raaa), tiger/ lion/ cougar etc. (snarling noise). The list goes on.... but you get idea... the kid has quite the variety of animal sounds. He loves to give baby Pula kisses... one night he lifted up my shirt and gave MULTIPLE sweet tender kisses to my belly and belly button. After each time he'd kiss my tummy he would look at me and smile.

Braxton's latest interest: taking his clothes on/ off and trying to "dress" himself. He specifically tries to take his socks on or off. He also has been a little shoe bandit around our house....

Any time there are a pair of shoes lying around he feels the need to put them on his feet. The shoes he has on in the top picture above are actually Quincy's and as you can see he's quite happy, despite the fact they are on the wrong feet. He also doesn't mind putting on my snow boots either. :) Silly boy!

I love my little Braxton Kaleb!

2011-11-09T06:50:00.001-07:00

Quincy has really taken an interest lately in the creative department. He really is enjoying coloring, writing, trying to read, and most recently painting.

Tyler brought home a clay piggy bank that was a leftover prize from some games during one of their meetings at work... needless to say Quincy was thrilled at the idea of getting to paint it.

Hard at work....

Quincy never ceases to amaze us with his observation skills over every day things. While at Walmart last week Quincy leaned towards Tyler as they were finishing checking out and said: "Dad, that lady lost a tooth!" I couldn't help but laugh about his simple observation and acknowledge that he was right. Tyler also noted that she was missing part of one of her legs too and told Quincy: "Yeah, she lost a leg too." He looked a little confused and disturbed at the thought of 'losing a leg.' We sure got a kick out of it though.

As Promised... some Halloween Pictures.

2011-11-08T21:15:00.000-07:00

Our boys did have a fun time going to our ward's Annual Trunk or Treat. I feel it's much better than going house to house with kids who have little legs.

I tried my best to get a picture of my little cowboy and skeleton, but as usual they are a tough pair to coordinate. Braxton was more interested in the airplane flying over our heads than smiling at me for the camera. Oh well.

See? They were just too excited, I guess, for a picture.

This is Braxton saying: "Where'd the airplane go?"

Cowboy "B"

Quincy did make an especially cute skelton. I wish you could see how cute it was when it was glowing in the dark.

The primary kids had some activities planned for them before they went out to Trunk or Treat. They had a pumpkin toss into a big plastic caldron, cookie decorating, and a ghost sucker craft. Braxton was more excited to eat his sucker than admire the time spent making it look like a ghost.

I know the boys look sort of out of it. They both got colds before they went trick or treating on Halloween Day, it turns out that was the least of my worries....

Braxton had just woke up from his nap and didn't really have time to eat, thus the grilled cheese sandwhich in his hand.

This man asked if I would like to have a picture with my boys... although Braxton isn't smiling to his little heart's content, this picture reminds me of the happy moments up until my phone call from the doctor. Overall , we did an pretty good Halloween. And next year I'll have three little boys in tow. :)

In the words of Micheal Buble`:

2011-11-04T12:16:00.000-06:00

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life... and I'm feeling good......."

What a journey we've been on this week!

Let me fill you in on the last part of our roller coaster ride.

Wednesday was normal enough. My parents generously offered to take the boys for me and Tyler went back to work. He said that when he got to work everyones eyes were glued on him and that they had some somber looking faces. All showed their concern and support. I spent most of my day cleaning, reading, updating the blog (for my own journal purposes), and overall trying to mentally prepare myself for what was coming in the next 24 hours. Finally 5:30PM rolled around and Tyler called to tell me he was on his way home. I asked him if I could receive a priesthood blessing that night. We are so lucky to have the gospel in our lives. I have never felt such comfort, peace, or joy in the event of having the blessings of the priesthood ministered upon me. It has truly blessed my life in many ways and I'm SO thankful Tyler is worthy to hold it.

A friend of ours was able to come over and help with the blessing. Although the words are too sacred to share (and it is difficult to express or remember exactly what was said) I felt peace. That night we went to bed around 11:30PM. It SHOULD have been an awful, nightmarish night of tossing and turning..... but it wasn't. I slept for almost 7 hours straight. When was the last time that happened? Not recent enough that I can recall. It goes to testify that the Lord was letting me get the much needed rest I had hoped and prayed for. In the morning I felt refreshed, something which may have seemed so out of place-- considering what we had to look forward to Thursday morning.

Tyler and I made the best of killing those few morning hours prior to leaving for the appointment the best we could. I started to feel slightly anxious as the clocked ticked closer to 11:00AM. While sitting on the couch I even explained that while I was young I had many opportunities to sing in front of large crowds... never once did I feel nervous until just as I was about to step on stage. It was a blessing and a curse. However, once I stepped out onto stage the nervousness faded quickly. Thursday morning was very similar. I knew since my appointment was at noon that most likely I should eat something beforehand, but the thought of food didn't sound good at all.

We drove to the appointment talking about various random subjects-- clearly trying to keep our thoughts away from the lurking black clouds that hovered inside them-- and made it to the specialists office 15 minutes early. The paperwork was short (taking no more than 2 minutes to fill out) and so we sat waiting another 13 minutes in the waiting room.

Once again, I found myself trying to preoccupy my thoughts.

I looked around the waiting room and noted three large painted canvases. One showed a beautiful yellow dandelion, the other depicted 3 older dandelions that had gone to seed, and the last portrayed something blowing the seeds of the dandelion from the stem. I found myself trying to find meaning between these images and the waiting room I was sitting in and I didn't have much luck trying to direct my thoughts in any positive direction.

Okay.

Next distraction.

I started people watching. I observed a lady in purple blouse and blue jeans. She was slightly plump in the middle with slender looking legs and looked kind of like an apple on a stick (or rather two sticks). I guessed she was in her mid 50's. She sat in the chair the whole time we were there with her ankles crossed, her hands folded in her lap, her body slightly shifted to one side of the chair, and her eyes closed. From the way she sat so still and breathed so steadily it appeared that she was sleeping.

How, I thought, could anyone be sleeping sitting up in a chair like that, let alone in a waiting room?

It was working.

I was distracted.

I watched several other couples come in and out. Noting the women who looked extremely pregnant and the ones who might have been, but it was difficult to know for sure. After hearing three other names called before ours I finally heard a soft, "Kati?"

Suddenly I was back to reality....

Deep breathe.

We ended up meeting with our genetic counselor who's name was Geri. She brought us back to her office and we got 'acquainted' (for lack of a better word) with our situation. She asked what we knew and went on to explain things that we didn't know so much about in more detail. It was reassuring to know that even during our conversation with her I felt hopeful. Geri sounded hopeful too, which I was praying that she wasn't one of those sugar-coat-everything-over-kind-of-doctors. She clarified that the quad screen measures four types of proteins (and if I remember right) two types from the mother's blood and two types from the babies blood (I could be wrong). However, there are four. Apparently the desired score for these protein levels in ideally around a 1.00. Three of my levels were close to 1.00. Great news for us! One particular protein level was only at a .15...... ooooooooww. Ouch! Not so good. Geri explained that these protein levels were unique to each mother and baby and that while the .15 seemed low (statisically speaking) that perhaps it was a normal level for our baby.

Again. I was feeling some reassurance. Perhaps our little Pula didn't have to have a 1.00 on that protein-- and that everything would be fine. We went into further detail about our family history all the way from siblings, nieces, nephews, parents, aunts, and unlces to determine that we both come from pretty genetically sound, healthy families.

Although she did clarify again, that Trisomy 18 is NOT something that occurs through genetics, but rather happens spontaneously. I could tell that Tyler was more nervous than I was during some of our meeting with her. He had a very concentrated face, clearly trying to make sure he asked every possible question, understood everything, and was aware of what we were up against. He frequently shifted his weight from the front to the back of the chair. He twisted his hands, and eventually put them under the table on his lap. I could tell this was finally starting to take a toll on his tough exterior that he had shown me the past three days. I also knew that his hands were sweating, something I found myself smiling a little to myself about.

Personally I didn't feel overwhelmed by anything. In fact, I just had this strange feeling like 'I should be feeling panicked or unsure right now, but I don't.' It was a little weird at the time, but perhaps it was just the Spirit giving me the comfort I had asked for in the three days prior.

After about an hour in depth conversation with Geri she explained that they would be doing an ultrasound to look for characteristics on the baby indicating any warning signs for Trisomy 18. This I was prepared for. I had read about it. An ultrasound? No problem. Then she also explained that we could do an amnio as well to further be reassured that we knew everything was fine. An amnio would give 99% accurate results. She told us we could both that day or do an ultrasound first and then decide. She left the room to find the ultrasound technician and I was grateful to have a moment alone to talk with Tyler. I tried to briefly tell him I wasn't thrilled about the idea on an amnio UNLESS there was a warning showing up in the ultrasound. We agreed that we'd do the ultrasound first and then decide from there on the amnio.

By the time 1:00 rolled around we were sitting in the ultrasound room with our technician, a blond haired twenty something year old, named Kaci. She was kind and reassuring. She told us she was a fourth year ultrasound tech student and that her supervisor would be watching our ultrasound from the other room. I had an extremely full bladder at this point, as they recommend drinking like 24oz of water prior to the ultrasound. If I were in different circumstances I might have complained about the discomfort I was in (with a full bladder and a technician pressing over it for an hour and 15 minutes), but it was worth it. At the beginning she asked us if we would like to know the gender and replied with "Sure!"

(But we'll get to that part last....)

After going over Pula's little body with extreme thoroughness for over an hour we witnessed that our baby did not have clenched fists (one of the indicators). In fact Pula even 'waved' at us and I watched with a hopeful heart that we were on the right track towards celebrating over a healthy baby. We also saw that Pula didn't show signs on rocker bottom feet (another one of the indicators). I watched the screen with love in my heart over two perfectly shaped feet and ten tiny toes. We watched as the technician spent 25 minutes examining every angle of Pula's heart to make sure it was formed right. This part was difficult as she kept going over and over it again. I almost felt like I should be worried that something was wrong, but I couldn't manage to summon the concern. Then she spent another 20 minutes looking at the brain. Again, an area which I didn't know exactly what was "normal" looking. At last we were done around 2:15. It was long, and some of it extremely uncomfortable for me, but I didn't care.

I was glad Heavenly Father let her be thorough.

Kaci left and told us that the doctor would be in to talk with us about the results. She said his name was Dr. Pandapati (pronounced like panda-potty--- what an interesting name, no?) Tyler and I were left alone in the room as we waited for the doctor to come it. At this point I was SO tired, I had got lots of sleep the night before, but I hadn't realized how emotionally drained I had become without even realizing it.

I still felt calm.

Tyler and I were BOTH starving.

After five minutes of sitting he started to look a little worried and said something like, "I hope they will be in here soon. I hope that somethings not wrong." I tried to reassure him, funny how he had been comforting me all week, that it was okay it was taking longer for the doctor to come it. I said, "Look, we want that doctor to be as thorough as he can. I don't care it he looks at for 30 minutes, we want to have the most skilled eyes to give the most accurate result to us so we can have some piece of mind." I think that Tyler felt better about me reminding him of this.

So we sat.

And sat................

At last the door opened and Dr. Pandapati walked in. He introduced himself and shook our hands. He sat on the edge of the bed, which seemed to be a technique to put us at ease. At least it appeared more casual to me. He explained that he had looked over the ultrasound results. He told us he looks for these things every day. He said that after examining the ultrasound closely he could not find one single indicator for Trisomy 18 or for anything else on that matter. He told us that Pula looked like a perfectly normal and healthy baby.

I can not express how it felt to hear him say those words. Up until that point we had only been hoping that our baby could be healthy, but had known nothing for sure. I felt a small smile and tried really hard to blink back the tears of joy. He paused for a moment, letting us absorb the information, and then continued... He explained that we could do an amnio, we did have the choice, but that in his professional opinion he felt it wasn't needed. He even went even further to say that he wasn't being "wishy-washy" about the amnio, but he didn't see a single reason why we should. He also explained that we didn't have to make the decision on the spot. We could also come back in a week if we had changed our minds, but I didn't need to hear that part. I knew my mind was made up. I felt the Spirit confirm that my worst fears were over.

My baby was going to live.

My baby was healthy.

I would hold my sweet Pula in my arms.

I would watch my child grow...

I would have the sweet experience of motherhood here on Earth once more.

As we walked out of the office and down the hall I stopped to look at Tyler. I could barely contain my emotions. With tears in my eyes he held me close and though no words were spoken I could feel his spirit radiating the same joy I felt. We were both blessed. We were blessed to witness a miracle. Some people may disagree... but I would never discount the miracle that occurred that day.

God gave us a baby... and it would live a full, healthy life with our family.

Upon reflection I have realized that even though our roller coaster ride has ended that there are many lessons I have learned in the process. I have come to be TRULY thankful for everything I have. You know that cliche` saying: 'You don't know what you have until it's gone'? Well I'm grateful that God didn't necessarily have to "take something away" from me to realize the importance of it. He gave me what I could handle. He taught me the important lesson of growth.

Isn't growing awful while you're doing it?

Poor Braxton is getting his two year molars, he's practically miserable. I bet if he could talk he'd probably tell me he could make do without those teeth. We all know better. We have teeth.... although we may have forgotten the pain that it was to get them, it helped us to be stronger. It was the beginning of our lessons for our purpose here on Earth: to gain a body (which would feel pain-- but also JOY!), to learn and grow, and to return to our Father in Heaven.

I have realized that this pregnancy I have had a tremendous amount of growth going on. It's easier to see the process looking back now. First I was shown how much stronger I am physically than I thought. I hated those first 4 months of sickness. I could barely function some days. I pleaded many times for God to just let me catch my breath. The phrase "I can't!" eventually turned into "I don't think I can, but apparently you know better, so I'll try." During what seemed to be eternity at the time, I learned that the physical pain of pregnancy symptoms would be more manageable, because I was getting used to the weight of "growth". Next I was taught the real value of my baby.... a growth for me in the emotional department. After weeks of agonizing over the fact that might never have a baby girl God gave me a wake up call. (It was the phone call from my doctor). Last, and perhaps most important, was the growth that took place over this past week... spiritual growth. I learned to truly surrender to God's plan. A control freak of 25 years, I was not the most teachable subject. It was most painful to realize the horrifying outcomes I was being faced with at the time, but I gained perspective (eternally speaking) and also a greater closeness to my Heavenly Father.

Although our story had a happy ending, I KNOW that I am not the same woman that I was a week ago. I have momentarily put all my worldly concerns aside and have seen through my Heavenly Father's eyes. I am so special to my Father in Heaven. He has a very divine plan for me. Perhaps it won't be easy, but it will be worth it if I can endure. My babies are special too... in their lives they will face more difficult things than I have ever imagined. I have to be stronger in order to prepare them to be strongest in a world of chaos.

And now, for perhaps the most wonderful news of all.....

We are having a healthy baby boy.

Yup.

I never thought I'd be so thrilled, until recently.:)

I know he will be strong.

I'm just glad that I will get to see him in person.

Counting my blessing daily....

Many thanks are expressed to my Heavenly Father, Tyler, family, and friends for the support on this difficult journey of growth.

Apparently There are More Important Things to Worry About

2011-11-02T17:20:00.000-06:00

Our Halloween this year was not a traditional fun filled, care-free, silly costumes, load your buckets with all kinds of sweets sort of holiday. It started out normal that way though.....

Last year I took our boys trick or treating to some stores (which is common around here) and it's quite nice for the little kids, especially since they do it during the day. Since we had such success last year we decided that this year we would do it again. I had the boys dressed up. They were looking particularly cute in their little costumes. I packed them up in the car, making sure to grab the camera and other Halloween trick or treating essentials (stroller, snacks, an umbrella...) and we headed off.

The weather seemed fairly cooperative when we pulled into the parking lot. We were ready for some candy-filled fun. We started at one end of the businesses and worked our way down. Things we going smoothly enough... Braxton had his hands preoccupied with a grilled cheese sandwich and Quincy was happy enough to repeat 'Trick or Treat' at each store. As we nearing the end of the strip my phone started ringing. I looked at the number and didn't recognize it. Normally I don't answer the phone unless the number looks familiar. Just as I was about to pick it up to answer it stopped ringing. My immediate thought was that it must have been a wrong number. However, just as soon as I set my phone back down on the stroller it started to ring again. I looked at it once more to see the same unfamiliar number calling.

I answered.

Immediately I heard my doctors voice say "Kati, it's Dr. Lin... how are you doing?" At this point Quincy is still happily trick or treating and I'm slightly distracted. I responded with "Oh, I'm fine. I'm just trick or treating with my boys."

Looking back on the situation I should have picked up on a few cues... 1:) doctors don't usually call just to chat and 2:) that she immediately got to business by asking if I had a minute to 'talk'.

I told her 'sure I have a minute'-- thinking nothing odd about her phone call. I took a minute to pull Quincy to part of the sidewalk so we could sit down and I could better listen. She further explained that my blood work came back and that there were some abnormalities. Again I should have been more concerned at this point, but for some reason I wasn't. I continued listening. She went on to tell me that because of the abnormalities shown in my work that my baby was at a higher risk for something called Trisomy 18. She explained that the effects of this disorder were very severe. She told me that it was very rare to carry any further than 32 weeks, that if I was fortunate enough to carry that long that most likely the baby would be still born, that even more rare-- if my baby survived it would have very little brain function and be wheelchair bound.

You know the cartoon sound effect where you hear a loud high pitched whistle followed by a thundering booming bomb crash?

That's exactly how I saw the situation.

Here I was going merrily about my Halloween day, with not a care in the world when suddenly there was a huge bomb my doctor was delivering via cell phone. I was clearly in shock and could even remember having the same feeling after my car accident. Although my head was hearing all the awful things that she was saying over the phone my body wasn't registering any of the pain yet. I could feel my weight shift slowly down towards the side walk. She followed up our phone conversation by telling me to go home. Sit down. Think. Take it easy. She also said that she would be referring me to genetic counselor and to expect to hear from them no later than Wednesday.

I remember hanging up the phone, Quincy looking at me expectantly and saying "can we go now mom?" I felt numb. Like I was seeing and hearing the things all around me, but I wasn't really there. I stood up straight, took a deep breath, and told Quincy we could finish. We only had 3 stores left. As we walked I started to descend down into my body again. I slowly began to feel the weight of pain threatening to crush my very being. I recognized that trembling movement in my stomach and realized I was about to loose it. Tears started to well up in my eyes and I quickly blinked them back as best as I could. I didn't want my boys to see me like that. By the grace of God I was able to hold back my emotions for 3 more stores. Just as we finished the last store the clouds turned dark and it started to rain.

It was like the weather was a reflection of my emotions. A once sunny care-free day suddenly looked full of gloom and despair. We hurried quickly back to the car and I manged to get everyone safely buckled inside. I grabbed my phone and sent Tyler a quick text: 'I need to talk to you. We're almost done trick or treating. I have some bad news about baby.' Tyler doesn't always have a chance to check his text messages during work so I was slightly surprised when he responded right back with: 'What?' I couldn't bare to write everything in text and replied: 'Too complicated to text. I'm really upset right now.' Poor Tyler... I probably scared the crap out of him right then. He told me later that his immediate thought was that I had had a miscarriage.

A few minutes later we were headed out of the parking lot when he called me. In hind sight I probably shouldn't have answered my phone... after all, I was driving, it was raining a little, and clearly I was distressed (perhaps a deadly combination for driving). He asked what was wrong and I could barely choke it out between sobs. He calmly tried to listen and decipher what I was saying. I explained about the doctors call... the bad news... and perhaps the worst case scenario. He did what a good husband does: he asked if I was okay, how he could help, and exclaimed how much he loved me.

We eventually made it to the bank to meet Tyler (I had every intention at the beginning of the day to take the boys trick or treating over by Tyler's bank, but after getting the news I couldn't bare the thought of pasting a weak smile to my face). When we walked into the bank all the women in there squealed with delight at my boys' cute costumes. They fussed and complimented and I think I managed a pleasant upturn of my mouth. Tyler told me when I got closer to him that we could go home. It was only 4:00 and I asked him if that was okay. Jill, his boss, had told him to take off early and to also take as many days as he needed before he came back to work. I immediately understood that they had talked about our situation. I was entirely grateful for her generosity and concern. She gave me the kindest smile and whispered "I hope everything works out." I could feel the sincerity in her voice and immediately had to blink back more tears. Later Tyler explained that she and her husband had been through similar circumstances. I can't express how thankful I was for her understanding and support of our tough situation.

The next few hours were sort of a blur. I know that I could barely talk, each time I did sobs worked their way up my throat and tears escaped my eyes until they burned. My thoughts frequently drifted towards our little Pula. **Would we ever see our baby live? Would I have a miscarriage? How could we take care of a child with such extensive needs? Would we even be able to celebrate our child's birthday before we planned a funeral? **

Each new thought tore through my heart and a new wave of pain shot through my body. I felt as if I couldn't bear any more. I tried to push everything out... to think of nothing, but it was useless.

I couldn't ignore the simple facts: the baby in my stomach would live or die. I had no control. Either way the child would be forever engraved on my heart and soul.

Tyler did a better job of keeping it together than I did when we got home. I went to our bedroom.... made a phone call to my parents, cried a lot more, and eventually pulled myself together to spend a couple of hours with our boys before bedtime. I did some researching that night (not too much, as I had been warned by my mom that the pictures were pretty awful). I learned the simple facts about Trisomy 18-- something of which I knew nothing about until 2 days ago.

In short there are several kinds of Trisomies, one of the most common is Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome). Trisomy 18 (Edward's Syndrome) is when three chromosomes make up the 18th chromosome instead of the regular two (one from each parent). Down syndrome is similar in that there are three chromosomes on the 21st chromosome instead of two. The difference between to the trisomies is that 18 is much more physically severe. Babies diagnosed with Edwards syndrome are usually still born. Their bodies aren't able to develop properly. Those who do live suffer great physical handicaps... babies aren't born with basic brain function to tell them to suck, swallow, breathe. Once born (the >10% ) commonly don't survive past the first week. It is rare that they live to their first birthday. Babies also have distinct physical handicaps clenched fists, rocker bottom feet, strawberry shaped heads... they have many problems with their hearts, which have small holes throughout them-- usually resulting in many surgeries, kidney failure etc.

There are many other facts about Trisomy 18... most of them very disturbing for a parent to be, but I felt empowered by the knowledge of what we were up against.

The small blessing in disguise: I learned that Trisomy 18 isn't DIAGNOSED by your abnormalities in your blood work alone, you are just shown that your are at higher RISK. After a phone conversation with my nurse I learned that all my other lab work showed my risk for the quad screen were only 1:10,000. The reason why they narrowed my risk specifically to Trisomy 18 was because of a part of the screening for that was 1:100. Much higher than my other results. While 1:100 is much higher than 1:10,000 it's better than 1:10. A risk of 1:100 is also the cut off between what's considered "normal" and "abnormal" in these screens, so I'm at the top end, which is good. The other part about these screenings that is reassuring is that they aren't an exact science. It's like the weatherman who looks at the Doppler 8000 (or whatever weather man machine they use) and predicts the weather based on what information is in front of it. Then he gives a "prediction" of 20% chance of rain and so on. If I'm losing you, what I mean to say is that there is room for error. While I can take only a little comfort in that chance for error I have been taking our situation seriously and preparing myself the best that I can.

While talking to Tyler I remembered something that had crossed my mind early in Monday morning before my doctor called. For no particular reason I had this 'thought' pop into my head.

I was cleaning the house and suddenly thought about a lesson from a few Sunday's back from a particular sister in our ward. She explained during her lesson that her husband and her had struggled with infertility for years. They wanted children so badly. At the time she was trying to find a job teaching, as that's what she got her degree in, but could only find work with special needs classes. A short while later they found she was expecting a baby. Little did she know at the time that her son would have Down Syndrome. She explained that it was easy to see God's plan for her life later. He was preparing her for a special one of his spirits with very special needs.

What I was able to take away from her experience and what thought occurred to me early that Halloween morning was that 'God prepares us for the things we are going to go through'. The preparation can be subtle and often hard to see during the process, but looking back it is always there. Although we may not be able to see God's plan for us (or even our unborn children) we can have faith in His guidance through the journey.

Monday night I spent plenty of time speaking with God. I told Him how scared I was, how grateful I was that He's allowed me raise some of His children here on Earth, how grateful I am for two healthy strong willed boys, how thankful I am to have a loving priesthood holding husband by my side, how fortunate I feel to have family-friends-and members of the church rally around us at this difficult time. Ultimately I asked God to send me a little comfort... so that I could stand tall as we waited for the next step. I told Him I knew He couldn't tell or show me everything, but that I could settle for a little physical rest. By the end of my prayer my pillow was thoroughly soaked from tears, but I felt the presence and love of my Heavenly Father.

It was enough to get me through one more night.

Tuesday Tyler stayed home with us. What another blessing that was. I wasn't able to sleep the whole night (it's pretty rare that I sleep an 8 hour stretch- especially when I'm peeing frequently due to pregnancy), but I did sleep for 4 straight hours. I felt blessed. The Lord gave me just what I needed--- rest--- physical and emotional rest. It was enough. I was happy for that. Tuesday (Day 2) proved to be a little better. I was like someone exhibiting the symptoms of trauma on Monday.... first shock, then panic, then emotional and physical pain, then numbness. Tuesday I felt something different I felt the first sliver of hope. It was small and perhaps to someone so wrapped up in all the other dealings might have gone unnoticed, but it was there.

Hope.

I have experienced many phone calls, text messages, emails, and personal conversations expressing concern and love for our family. God has comforted me through all of you. Your kind words, your prayers, your love... all have given me a little more strength. Strength that wasn't there on Monday.

Day 2 also brought us a little more 'good' news. I was finally able to set an appointment with the Genetic Counselor and we willn get an ultrasound done. While this ultrasound will be different than the one we were so anxious to have next week it will give us some good indicators...We will have a better idea of whether we should be celebrating or preparing for difficult future needs. Thursday is our big day... we go in.

We listen.

We wait.

I don't want this to be all doom and gloom because in the time I have spent personally pondering the seriousness of our situation I have come to realize that God has a sense of humor. In some not so subtle ways He has wiped away all my previous concerns. I was worried about a horrible third Cesarean-- no problem now, now I would give anything to carry FULL TERM. I was worried about this being my last pregnancy and coming to terms with 'not being able to have MORE children' -- no problem now, I'm just grateful I already HAVE children. I was worried about having another boy (a selfish concern, I know, but it is hard to imagine not having a little daughter of my own to do those special girly things with)-- problem solved... I would give anything to just hold a baby in my arms. Boy. Girl. It doesn't matter. I was worried about gaining lots of weight and looking 'fat'-- heck now I don't even care if I look like the goodyear blimp, just as long as I get to see my sweet Pula.

In one day God kinda chuckled and said, "You want to worry about stuff? Here. Let me show you things to REALLY worry about."

And it's true.

I get it now.

I see the errors of my ways and have asked for forgiveness.

I have come to be extremely grateful for everything I HAVE and not too worrisome about all the things I WANTED. God is giving me another chance to increase my faith in Him. I guess I'm stubborn and need to be taught the importance of relying on HIM. Okay. Point taken. I'll do better. In fact, that's exactly what I'm doing right now... putting ALL my faith and trust in Him that His plan is perfect (which of course I know it is), but that it might not be an easy one.

I am blessed.

I am loved.

I am grateful.

I believe.

I hope.

I live.

Although it is difficult to be 'entirely happy and carefree' at this moment, I am at peace. We will keep you posted on our what happens with our doctor appointment tomorrow.

(And I promise to post some cute pictures of the boys trick or treating--- before it got all crazy--- next time.)

Thanks for the love, prayers, and well wishes.

They are felt.

17 weeks....

2011-10-28T01:43:00.006-06:00

Wow, 17 weeks and counting....

See the belly growing??

While we were doing some Christmas shopping last weekend (I know, it's still October, but I like doing it all -- at least as much as I can-- before Thanksgiving) something occurred to me. You know how when you're in a crowd, people you pass sometimes acknowledge you by glancing at your face and then moving on to the next person.? Well-- I made the observation that NOW people glance at my eyes/ face and then immediately direct their attetion to my stomach. I guess I can be reassuraed about the fact that I AM pregnant and they aren't staring for other reasons.... but it's slightly disconcerning. It's like I have this urge to say: "Look, up here! Ignore that big huge rounding mass on my mid section."

What's most humorous is when I see VERY pregnant women glance at my belly. It's a mixed reaction that reads *I wish my belly were still that small* or perhaps *Enjoy that tiny tummy while it lasts THIS is what you have to look forward to!*

There isn't very much else to report... I went into the Doctor this week for my blood/ lab tests (fun stuff)... at least I only got stuck once by the lab technician. I've definitely had worse experiences when having blood drawn. Ever been stuck like 10 times BEFORE they drew any blood? I have. It's no walk in the park. So for the time being Maria is my new favorite blood draw-er. :)

I suppose there is some bad news/ good news too. During my appointment my doctor confirmed that I will most likely (like 90%) HAVE to have another ceserean. In some ways this is comforting-- like the part of me that gets to choose my delivery date and time. The part that gets to pack my bags and have my house cleaned. The part that gets to make child sitting arrangements for the boys. All these things are nice for my slightly OCD behavior and control issues.

The downside? I've had two c-sections before. A blessing and a curse. I know EXACTLY what I have to look forward to. A safe delivery, but LOTS of pain. I always react badly to the drugs, usually resulting in lots of vomiting-- which is always super fabulous after major surgery in your abdominal area. When I delivered Braxton I at least had all this knowledge from Quincy's delivery, however, even WITH anti-nausea medication during my c-section I STILL ended up vomiting afterwards. It was better than after I had Quncy, but still not fun. Eventually with the help of many nurses I found a patch put behind my ear to be most effective in making the vomiting go away. Again, good to have the knowledge-- since I'll be doing it a third time. Maybe we can try and make it more pleasant? Downside factor #2: I cannot take any pain medication. The only thing that my body will tolerate (and that is safe to take while still nursing) is Ibuprofen and extra strength Tylenol.

Have you ever heard of anyone who's had major surgery taking over the counter drugs to help them tolerate the pain? No. And for those reasons alone I'm feeling a little terrified about c-section #3.

It's a little difficult to accept the fact that my body isn't necessarily suitable for vaginal baby deliveries. I apparently have a heart shaped pelvis. The desired shape is oval. Thus my babies aren't able to descend their little heads down into the proper position to have a regular delivery. On the one hand I'm thankful for the fact I can have children, but discouraged about how much pain is involved each time. There is nothing natural about being cut open and re-cut open again and again to get my precious little ones out. No disrespect to any women who have had vaginal deliveries. It's just that there's nothing comforting about the knowledge of pain that will be involved and the fact that I basically can't do anything about it.

I'm a tough girl.

(Right? Says the tiny voice in my head.)

I can handle it, or rather, I HAVE to handle it. There is no other way.

The good news---- don't worry there is some. I was able to schedule my ultrasound to find out Pula's gender. The official date is November 11th. Nice and early too. Tyler is still holding out hope of getting tickets to the BSU game that weekend and insisted I schedule the ultrasound early IN CASE we had to drive to Boise that weekend. So yeah. We'll be up REAL early for my 7:30AM check in. Even if we don't end up going to Boise, it will still be a nice way to start a 3 day weekend.

So... put in your last guesses family and friends as to what our little Pula will be. In just 16 short days we will know. :)

Boise State Boys

2011-10-27T06:30:00.001-06:00

In honor of the BSU game that was on last Saturday I let the boys wear their Boise State Football jerseys. They do love them... although I would rather they walked around in some Ducks gear here in Portland. Tyler is always thrilled when he sees them wearing it, so how can I not let them?

Quincy was excited to wear his new jersey... it's a little bit big, but he didn't mind tucking in the long bottom part.

Braxton was even cooperating for a picture, although he's happy to have his picture taken (and then immediately look at it) he's still working on the the smiling part.

Aren't they SO cute together??

I LOVE this one of the two of them. My mom even said it looked "Christmas card worthy". Ha. They are looking extra adorable in their little jerseys together. AND BOTH are smiling.

GO BSU... at least in Tyler's honor. :)

Halloween/ Harvest Apartment Party

2011-10-26T05:30:00.006-06:00

Halloween is such a silly holiday.... what other time during the year can children and adults alike dress up in ridiculous costumes and still appear normal? However, it's a kids dream come true. Dress up, say "Trick or Treat?" and then get some candy in return? Who could deprive their children of such fun? Not me.

It's just that it sort of kills me to spend money on a costume that my kids will wear once (twice if I can re-use them for Braxton). This year I decided to be more creative. I thought Braxton would make the cutest cowboy. I had some fabric I got from my Grandma and figured I could sew up a little vest. Then, with the help of my mom... I borrowed the red bandanna and the black cowboy hat (from Unlce Scott, who's on a mission- I don't think he'll mind).

Total cost of B's costume: $0.00! And doesn't he look ridiculously cute in that gigantic cowboy hat?

Quincy decided this year that he wanted to be a skeleton. I looked everywhere for the cute skeleton jammies that are sold in lots of stores... problem? Everywhere I went they either didn't have his size or they didn't have them period, due to the fact that stores are cranking out Christmas stuff. It was rather frustrating. BUT my wonderful visiting teach informed me that she had not ONE, but TWO skeleton costumes-- one in Quincy's right size. The only problem with borrowing it is that she wasn't able to get it to me before the Apartment Party so we had to improvise with a costume for it. Q didn't seem to mind wearing the Micheal Jordon outfit again.

At the party, they had a bubble machine. I don't care how old kids are.... bubbles are ALWAYS a hit. My boys spent lots of time over here by this. By the end of the evening Braxton's hair SMELLED like bubbles.

The only downside for B was that there were kids Quincy's age that were bigger, taller, and faster at popping the bubbles before he could get to them. He seemed to handle it well....

Quincy trying to sneak some pop.

And speaking of pop... Braxton doesn't yet understand that pop has carbonation in it, he also can't describe the feeling that carbonation has in his mouth/ tummy. The only way he describes drinking pop is by saying "HOT". This pictures is him telling me the pop is "hot". lol

How DO you explain the feeling of carbonation??

My little poser.

Whenever B sees a baby that is sleeping he says "sssssss" instead of "shhhh". I still think it's cute.

CHEESE!

"Where's the bubbles?"

During the party the kids get to hit a pinata. They have all the little kids line up first. Each kid got two swings. I thought it was funny Quincy was surrounded by all these princesses. :)

I told Q to hit the pinata as hard as he could-- try to break the candy out. He did a good job. I, however, did not do a good job capturing a picture of him hitting. The picture above looks like he didn't even hit it, but he did. There were too many parents in the way for me to get a good picture.

Apparently since the cowboy hat was gigantic B felt the need to walk/ stroll around with his hands on it like this. To keep it on?? I'm not quite sure.

We had a great time at the party and the boys already have a bucket full of candy. Good thing they just went to the dentist, right?

Crafty Project

2011-10-25T06:03:00.000-06:00

I have always had a lavender spring wreath ever since we've been married. I think there's something pleasant about walking to your door and having a pretty wreath greet you before you walk inside. With that being said, I HAVE added a Christmas wreath and that had been the extent of my wreaths. A few weeks ago, while at my parents house my mom asked if I would like an old fall wreath she had made. I've never really been into fall decorations, but recently (perhaps it's old age, or pregnancy, or something) I have come to enjoy fall. The wreath originally consisted of fabric made leafs.... sort of etsy-ish looking. By themselves the fabric leafs looked a little dated so I thought that it would add to them. The wreath above is how it turned out. I really do like it.

Quincy even contributed to it. He was responsible for collecting the pine cones and the acorns. And I have to write a funny little story about Q, speaking of acorns. A busy street nearby has a lot of Oak trees lining a small shopping 'mall'. While we were on the side walk I asked if he would like to gather some of the acorns that were on the ground. He excitedly agreed and began filling his pockets. He was so happy and exclaimed as we were crossing the street to go back home, "Mom, my nuts are dropping!" Although I knew exactly what context he was using the phrase I couldn't help but chuckle to my self hearing it come out of his mouth. Then later as we reached our apartments to check our mail he said, "Mom, I'm holding my nuts in my pocket." Such irony... I'm sure he will laugh about this when he's older. I got a little laugh or two out of it. :)

DIY Project

2011-10-24T02:21:00.000-06:00

I have been looking for a club chair for a while.... something to use in our living room for extra seating or even in the bedroom corner for taking shoes on and off. I was going to buy one similar to this at the salvation army- it was $10.00, but Tyler vetoed it. Since that day I have regretted not buying that chair for such a good deal, until across this one:

BEFORE:

It was just the right shape and size for what I wanted. What was even better was that it was $4.99. I guess good things DO come to those who wait.

It was a little scuffed up in some spots, but I had plans to spray paint it white anyways.

The only other downside was that it didn't come with a cushion. I easily made one out of some cute fabric I found on sale at JoAnns. Not too bad.....

After:

Not Bad,eh? I like it a lot. I think in total it cost me something like $20.00.

A trip to the Dentist for Quincy

2011-10-23T02:10:00.000-06:00

Quincy went to his second trip to the dentist a couple of weeks ago. He did great, as usual, and they even let him do the "big boy" fluoride trays (they usually don't give them to kids under 5). Yay Quincy!

He's such a good example for Braxton, who will be old enough to go next February.

Quincy's funny... as his prize, he picked out play money. What I thought was even more funny was that the bills consisted on 10's, 20's, and 100's. Are kids really spending that much these days? lol

The Tale of the Pregnant Woman's Woes:

2011-10-21T14:10:00.000-06:00

It's been a long time coming that I document some more of this pregnancy's adventures... The past 3.5 months have been rather rough, to say the least. However, I am now in the middle of month number 4 (Second Trimester) and things are stating to look up. A long gradual incline kind of up. Finally.

At least I can honestly say that I feel more human now instead of that previous barf machine I was EVERY single day. I am officially 16.5 weeks pregnant now... though some of these pictures are a week or two old. We are all growing in excitement as we near the halfway mark. Grammie made Quincy a little countdown chart for the weeks (obviously this picture was taken 2 weeks ago). It helps him to see the progress because lets be honest, 40 weeks is a long time for anything. :)

To help Braxton understand the changes that are happening I drew a little family picture. He smiles when we say: "Where's the baby?" Sometimes, if he's in the right kind of mood. He will even give Pula a kiss on my tummy. This makes my heart melt.

Like I was saying... things are starting to look up (slightly) and that means that during the glorious second trimester I am gaining back some of my time to put towards productive things... like making our monthly meal plan. I really have learned to love to cook over the years that we've been married, but in the previous 4 months it held no appeal. Especially the smell part. Oye! It was awful being around food at that point. Thank goodness I am starting to be friends with my beloved food again. In fact, I recently tried to explain to Tyler that I feel like a giant grizzly bear who's been hibernating all winter and has finally awoke to realize that he's STARVING! I feel like no matter how much food I eat my appetite is rarely satisfied. I am trying NOT to indulge in every food item in sight so I don't end up gaining like 100 pounds. I guess if Pula's hungry I better listen. Though I try to be mindful about what I'm scarfing down. :)

As a little added bonus... I thought I'd post some ultrasound pictures.

They are pictures of my print offs (so not the best quality), but I wanted you all to be able to meet Pula!

I think you can make out the picture... Head on the left (see Pula's cute eyes, nose, and mouth) and note the little hand by the mouth.

This one's a little blurry, but I love that it appears Pula's giving a 'thumbs up'. Lol

This is the side profile picture. Head at the left, arm/ hand, and leg/ foot to the right.

And, although I dread taking tummy pictures... I thought everyone else might like to see Pula's progress. Front isn't too terrible yet, I'm still able to slightly conceal my belly with baggy shirts.

But, as you can see the side profile is getting big. (These pictures were only taken at 14 weeks) I meant to have Tyler take a picture at 16 weeks to show the difference, but I forgot. You will be able to better see what I mean about how much I'm showing now!

Overall, I'm much more human now.... my family is grateful for that part. :) And lastly, I'm so excited to announce that we have about 4 more weeks until we find out what our little Pula is.

(I make my appointment next week for that gender ultrasound).

Until next time....

Fun at the Sellwood Park.

2011-10-07T19:00:00.000-06:00

So I had one of those blond/ pregnant moments last month. The weather got all hot and we figured we could spend it cooling off in the Sellwood pool. Well, I went to see what time the pool opened and thought that it said 1:00PM. Seeing as how it was only 11:00AM... we thought we could mange waiting 2 hours playing in the Sellwood Park. Ha. Ha. It turned out that the pool had closed for the year a few days prior. Ooops. Our boys did get to have fun playing at the park though, right?

You have just got to love Portlandians... see the pretty outfit above?

"Mom Date"

2011-10-07T18:51:00.000-06:00

Isn't this picture of Braxton so cute? I love that he brings his books out to the patio to sit on his camping chair and "read". He's like a little old man. :)

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to take the boys out for a "Mom Date". I had to go to a doctor appointment last month and in the last minute I ended up having to take the boys with me. Luckily it was a short appointment. They were pretty good. I figured since they were on their best behavior during my appointment that I would treat them to some fun stuff.

Normally I would have taken them to the park, but it's a lot harder to get them to leave the park when I'm by myself... so I decided that I would take them to the next best thing: the mall play area. :) As an added bonus it's enclosed so less chasing for me.

They, of course, loved it! I don't know what it is about boys but any chance they have to run, jump, or climb they are all over it.

Little Junior Monkey.

The serious child.

I love my little climber.

"Look what I can do, Mom!"

After going to the mall a few times now, Braxton has yet to master the tree slide by himself.... however, this time around he worked up the courage and dove in.

And look at that sweet little smile after he accomplished it! :)

And speaking of smiles... my number one son is a pro at them.

An attempt at getting a shot of BOTH of them smiling at the same time.... impossible! The Mom Date didn't end there. While we were at the mall we splurged on a Pecan Cinnabon and also had the pleasure of sampling some Jamba Juice smoothies. Am I a great mom or what?

After we went left the mall I took the boys for a brief walk on the Mt. Tabor Nature Park. Our walk was short lived because we had to go get Tyler... however, I think it's safe to say that it won't be the last Mom Date my boys have. Well, at least until they don't think I'm cool anymore. I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Tyler turned the big 3-0!

2011-10-07T17:56:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe it (although now it's been about a month) but my handsome husband is officially in his thirties. We're in two different decades. I have to say, 30 looks good on him. :) I figured since thirty is a somewhat monumental birthday he should do something special. Unfortunately.... this year he had to work late on his birthDAY and couldn't get around it. I felt awful for him. I felt even worse about the fact that I was still at this point very sick.

We did manage to get him a coconut cream pie and sang happy birthday to him.

Braxton clearly enjoyed the pie...

And everyone enjoyed licking the frosting off the candles....

The boys wanted to do something special for dad. They both made him birthday cards... and a birthday sign which we put on the front door. Who doesn't want to be wished happy birthday when they reach their front door? :)

Happy Birthday Tyler.

B Adventures

2011-10-07T16:55:00.000-06:00

I decided one day that I would make the boys a fort in our living room.

Braxton loved it.

Still no smile....

Reading his favorite books in his little fort.

He decided that a giant blue ball would be a good addition to his fort.

Then when it fell behind the for he tired to run away from me laughing...

Everyday Stuff.

2011-10-07T16:46:00.000-06:00

For the past three months I've been a little off my A-Game. This pregnancy has been a real doozy and as a result I have been slacking in the picture taking and blogging department. We haven't been up to too much... My Boys have really taken to expressing themselves creatively. Quincy has been practicing his writing and reading skills (in preparation for doing preschool at home with him next year) and Braxton has been earnestly working on his coloring skills. We spend most days in our jammies... but we still have just as much fun hanging out at home as we do when we're all done up. :)

Don't you just love Braxton's outfit? He especially loves the Lightning McQueen clogs that used to be Quincy's. The Cars movie is his favorite!

Hard at work!

My little artist....

Posing with his masterpiece...

Braxton is so funny... he has definitely taken an interest in having his picture taken, but won't smile for me. This is as good as I get. :)

I love my boys.

It must be summer... at least weather wise...

2011-09-03T02:13:00.020-06:00

It's a rare thing that we have beautiful sunny weather around here, but since we do we have to enjoy it. And what better place to enjoy the sun than by (or in) an outdoor pool? We have an outdoor pool in our apaartments, but it's always freezing and partly covered... so we thought we'd try out one of the two... yes. TWO Portland outdoor pools. We went to the Sellwood Pool. It was pretty packed, but would you expect anything less during a hot day? The pool is wonderful. Not only is it surrounded by the beautiful Sellwood Park, but it is an old pool- just celbrated over 100 years now.

It is also extremely family friendly. The pool has a zero degree edge, so the little kids can play and walk right in. Not to mention it has lots of water sprayers, a side, and a kids basketball hoop. We will be returning next year, as that will probably be the next time the weather will be that nice. :)

I heart Portland!

2011-09-02T02:12:00.001-06:00

We went to the Sellwood Park with a bunch of friends and all their kids. In total we had 8 kids and 3 moms.

A litle crazy?

Yes.

But it was fun.

The Sellwood park has fun playground equipment like see saws. Remember those?

Braxton was a little more interested in all the cool dogs being walked.

I thought this picture was so funny of Quincy. He was a little terrified of being up so high and did NOT want to smile for a picture.

A trip with my Moma

2011-09-01T17:09:00.001-06:00

The weekend after Quincy's Birthday I took a little trip up to Cashmere, WA to visit my cousin Hanna. She just had a little boy, Oliver. I haven't seen her in years and it was nice to make the trip up there to see her, as well as my Aunt, Uncle, and Halli (her sister).

Since it was just me and my mom we had lots of time to talk in the car and do all the fun girly stuff. Although the drive was a little long for a weekend trip, it was definitely much nicer to make without the kids. Speaking of the kids, they stayed with Tyler. It was his first time alone with both of them for a whole weekend and I think he did a great job taking care of them. He even got them all to church on time. I'm so proud.

Maybe I should leave more often? :)

The two pictures above are from Leavenworth a cute little touristy town nearby. We spent a hot afternoon walking through the shops and visiting my Aunt while she was working in a wine shop.

Thanks mom for letting me take the trip with you. :)

A Tale of Crunchy Tacos...

2011-09-01T15:32:00.001-06:00

For Quincy's ACTUAL Birthday we let him choose what he wanted to have for dinner. He picked tacos.

Really? I even explained that I would make anything he wanted, but tacos were what he chose. More specifically he said he wanted crunchy tacos. Okay. I could deal with 'crunchy tacos' for dinner. Not much labor for me, right?

August 15, we had our delicious crunchy tacos. Quincy was happy. Braxton was happy. Tyler was happy. It seemed they were a real family pleaser.

Now... on to the rest of the story. Let me preface by saying that for a few weeks prior to Quincy's birthday dinner I had been feeling sick. The boys were getting awfully mad that mom was "sick" all the time. In fact, one day Quincy got mad when I told him I couldn't play with him because I was sick and he angrily said, "Well, just take some medicine!" I decided at this point I could no longer keep our secret from them. I consulted with Tyler and we decided that we would explain why mom was so sick all the time during Quincy's dinner. I waited until Tyler got home and we were all eating. After finishing our dinner Tyler asked Quincy, "Do you know why mom is so sick all the time?" "No" was his response. Then he explained, "Mom has been really sick because she's going to have another baby!" At this point we were expecting Quincy to be happy, however, we were a little shocked by his reaction. His response was, "What? Another one?"

Talk about building up a special moment in your head. At first he looked like he was in disbelief, then after talking about it for a while longer he warmed up to the idea. We had to explain that the baby was really small and wouldn't be here for 9 months. He was a little disappointed with that news, but I know once I start showing he'll be happy again. Braxton doesn't really understand the concept of a baby yet, but we are trying to tell him often that there's a baby in mom's tummy. He likes hearing this and hopefully once my tummy is big enough he'll give it luvs like Quincy used to.

Originally after finding out that I was pregnant (August 1st) Tyler and I had decided that we would NOT tell our families until I was further along. I kind of had to change that plan when I decided to go on the road trip with my mom. I knew that if I was around her for a whole weekend that she would suspect it right off the bat. So the Friday after Quincy's birthday I had Braxton give them a card in an envelope that said, "In Braxton's words... I'm going to be a big brother!" They were shocked at first, but said they had suspected something was up.

Tyler later decided to tell his parents on the phone....I wanted to send them a video with the boys announcning the news, but he didn't want to wait. Funny how that original plan of "not telling anyone" sort of went out the window. However, for about 3 weeks we did keep the secret. It was really nice that my parents knew though... there were definitely moments on my mom and I's trip that I was feeling sick and she would discreetly help.

About this pregnancy: I have been sick for about 5 weeks straight now. It is awful. In fact I don't even think that word fully describes how miserable I have been. Some women relish in the whole pregnancy thing... personally right now even the word relish makes me want to barf. I can't eat food. I really HATE food right now... Nothing tastes good. Everything that smells flavorful, spicy, or greasy makes me gag. I can barely stomach the least flavorful things. Pretty much all foods that are cooked give me heartburn. It is horrible. I can't lie down because of it, but when I'm sitting I'm nauseous and dizzy. I feel dizzy pretty much from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. And speaking of sleep... I get very little of it. Between the one million potty trips, the heartburn, and the uncomfortable-ness I get an average of 4 hours a night. I sound like I'm complaining don't I? Well, I am. And you would be too if you experienced these things non stop for more than a month.

However, I am managing. I am tired pretty much ALL day long. In fact, this is what my house has looked like for a few weeks now. It is truly disgusting. I can't even stomach walking into my kitchen like this:

I am about 9 weeks pregnant now. I had an ultrasound last week to reveal that I have one healthy baby inside my tummy. It was rather uncooperative for a picture, but we have a cute little lima-blob. :) As tradition calls for, we had to come up with a name for 'the baby' until we find out the gender and so Howard Baby #3 will be known as baby Pula. (Said like: 'poo-lah').

Baby Pula is alive and well... causing misery for this mama, but it's all worth it right? It might even be especially worth it if I could finally get a girl. ;)

In the meantime we will keep you guys posted on things. As of now all I have to say is that Pula will be here April 4th or sooner. We can't wait!