There are just days...

... When I feel like I'm not a very good mom.

I know that every normal mom experiences feelings like this, but it seems like the last few weeks I've been really struggling to relish in all the joys of motherhood. I feel so overwhelmed with everyday mundane tasks. I'm constantly being requested by my children to give them my undivided attention and entertain them. I find that as a mom to young children I have little time alone during the day- who knew using the bathroom would become a group activity?- and I have almost no time at all to spend on me. I also find the challenge of allowing Tyler time to unwind from work when he gets home is MOST difficult. It's always when the kids are screaming, the house is a mess (not because it started that way, but because with two little children it's bound to end up that way), I'm desperately trying to get dinner on the table, and the boys ready for bed. Needless to say, there are numerous days where I think to myself ***'Am I really accomplishing anything?'***......... ***'Is what I'm doing really making a difference?'***

Even on some of my worst days when I'm wrestling with these negative thoughts that are floating around in my head I have that nagging feeling-- and more realistically a prompting from the Spirit-- that my work as a Mother IS important. Which of course is why I continue to love, teach, and nurture my children.

The other day while I was sitting on the couch with Quincy he looked over at me and said, "I love you Mom!" I didn't prompt him to say this and thought it was sweet that he decided to tell me that and so I responded, "I love you too Quincy!" He took about 2 seconds before he spoke again and then said, "You're a great Mom!" This statement took me by surprise-- thinking what qualifies me as a great mom in Quincy's eyes-- and so I asked, "Why am I a great Mom?" He contemplated the question for a moment and then replied, "Cuz you do everything for us. You wash our clothes, and hang them up, you pick up our toys, and wash the dishes, you make our beds, and clean the sink!" I couldn't help but laugh at Quincy's qualifications for being a great mom and told him, "Well, thanks for noticing Quincy! You're a great kid!"

I know that it's moments like this that Heavenly Father is reassuring me that Motherhood is important.

I had another occasion to be reassured of my divine nature two weeks ago. Our poor little Braxton has come down with a cold. The little guy has been all stuffed up, and as any parent to a baby knows, there hasn't been much we can do about it. He had been sleeping very poorly- waking up gagging on mucus and what not. He'd wake up each morning at 4:00 or 5:00AM and cry. Since Tyler has to get up for work at 6:00AM, I'd try to go in there and get him back to sleep for a little while.

During the second day (in a row) I went into my boys' room to calm down my troubled baby. Part of me dreaded hearing that first cry because I was SO tired, the other nurturing-mom part of me felt the urge to help him go back to sleep. As I dragged my body into their room with my eyes half shut, lifting him out of his crib and settling down to rock him in the rocking chair, a thought occurred to me. It was 5:30AM and as I rocked Braxton back and forth rubbing his little back and shhhhing him, the Spirit spoke to my heart that I was indeed experiencing something grand as a Mother. Here in my arms was my helpless baby, all stuffy and sick, who couldn't sleep because he felt awful and I had the pleasure of comforting him. How many times have I needed comfort as a Daughter of God and He has filled me with peace? Braxton may not be able to speak to me just yet, but I believe if he could he would have told me how grateful he was that I was there to help him feel better.

As a mother, if I can take the pain away from my child just for a moment-- no matter how brief it is-- what other glorious purpose can I serve? I thank my Heavenly Father for blessing me to feel the Spirit so early in the morning and opening my eyes that I might be able to see the bigger (more important) picture as He sees it!

Even on days when things are a mess and I feel all my hard work goes unnoticed I try to remind myself that what I'm doing MATTERS! I'm thankful for these blessings.

God is good.

He has blessed me with two healthy children and a wonderful husband.

I will count my blessings and try to remember that I don't have to be the perfect Mom that I think I'm supposed to be... Heavenly Father doesn't expect me to be perfect He just expects me to do my best.....

Maybe I'm not such a terrible Mom after all.............