It's about time a wrote a little pregnancy update on here. Finally, we're headed into the LAST and FINAL trimester. I would be lying if I said I wasn't totally elated that I'm almost done. This pregnancy has been one gigantic roller coaster with many ups and downs and I will be most relieved to have settled into some sort of normalcy once again.
25 weeks
27 weeks....
I know it's hard to tell in the above picture, but my belly really is bigger than the 25 week picture.
Recent changes:
**I can now feel sharp little jabs, somersaults, and kicks from Pula, which leads me to believe that the placenta must have moved. Before it was between my skin and the baby and any movement felt was MUCH more muffled than it is now.
** I'm noticing that Pula favors my right side. Also, he likes to use my bladder as a kickboxing bag. Feels really awesome! ;)
** I have a hard time sleeping on my back, which is unfortunate for me because I'm a back sleeper. It's too uncomfortable to sleep like that now, I feel as if a gigantic bowling ball has been strapped to my stomach and is suffocating me while I sleep.... hmmm... I wonder why that is.
** I notice that some days my appetite is significant, where nothing seems to ease it. Other days food doesn't even sound good at all. Pula, you must be going through some major growth spurts!
**I am tired ALL the time! I don't think it matters how much sleep I get, it never seems to alleviate the exhaustion I feel. I cannot survive on less that 7 hours a night.
**Fresh fruit is still one of the only things that sounds good to me at any given moment. Specifically berries (blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries) are my preference.
** I am feeling more anxiety about how to handle having three children. Moreover, how to raise THREE boys. I look at the two energetic ones I already have and the thought seems totally overwhelming. I'm trying to realize that there will be a learning curve just as there was going from 1 kid to 2, and that now I have Quincy as an extra little helper.
**I can't stand clutter. (I never really have had a tolerance for it, but recently it's really irritating to see.) Whenever I see its presence I feel the instant need to rid of it, I think it just adds to that overwhelming anxieties I already feel with the ever approaching date of our little one.
** Tyler has felt more movement. Quincy did have his hand on my tummy to feel Pula kick, but didn't recognize the movement. Braxton thinks that it's so funny to see my protruding belly button....
**Yes, my innie belly button is now and outtie...
**I can no longer wear my prepregnancy jeans. I had one pair left that I could wear, until just recently.
** I am excited to see Pula. I can't wait to watch Braxton's reaction to his new little brother and see him playing the role of big brother. I know that Quincy will already do well.... he did such a great job when Braxton was a baby. Yesterday Braxton got out his baby book and we looked at it together, him proudly pointing to his baby self and say "bra bra" -- Braxton. He smiled sweetly as he pointed to each picture of me holding him and said "mama".
It's undeniable.
I am excited and terrified all at the same time with each weeks passing.
Will I be able to be a good mother to three children?
How will this son differ from the other two, as they are so distinctly their own persons?
Will my delivery and recovery go smoothly, or will it be harder than the previous time, each time seems to be more difficult?
How will I manage to go anywhere with only two hands and arms and six ones reaching for mine?
I frequently find these thoughts making a never ending loop in the back of my mind.
Most days I just try and take it one step at a time, other days I have a good cry and then take a deep breath. Because I know, of course, I won't get any of the answers to those questions until I get to that point, so why worry? Well, I know the answer to that one: I'm a worrier by nature.
However, I won't let that freeze me in fear that I'm incapable of doing great things. Sure, three kids (three BOYS) will be a challenge for me, but aren't some of the most rewarding experiences challenging at one point or another?
Life is about learning, stretching and reaching toward new goals (something we just talked about with Quincy for our New Year's FHE), growing, and finding joy. There will be pain along the way---- but ...YES... there will be joy.
And isn't that wonderful to know?
Hoping this new year brings wonderful, exciting, and maybe just the teensiest bit challenging experiences for you and your families.
I am excited for 2012!
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