40 weeks.... the final countdown (of two days)

Here I sit thinking that in 2 days I will be holding my baby boy in my arms. It has truly been an eventful pregnancy to say the least. Not a dull minute from day one. Gone are the days of hovering over the toilet in agony; gone are the days of worrying like crazy that our little one would never see our faces; gone are the days explaining to strangers that I had more time left than they believed… yes here I sit, 39 weeks pregnant and delighting in the fact that all this discomfort and pain I’m currently experiencing will be over in a week. It’s so nice to see that I’m about to step into that light at the end of the tunnel. For a while it seemed I’d never get close enough to feel it, but FINALLY I’ve arrived. I have officially scheduled my C-section for Thursday March 29, 2012 at 8:00AM… and we will get to see you shortly after that!  I can’t help smiling just thinking about it.

Pregnancy update:

Total weight gain: 28lbs.

Baby update: Pula is head down. The doctor estimated his weight at 6.13, so he should be somewhere between Quincy who was 7.6 and Braxton who was 7.11—only time will tell, though. He looks rather cramped in his current quarters. The doctor did note that he’s still a boy (as displayed by a shot of his rather enlarged balls—she told me that they were swollen, and that’s common for baby’s… which is something I already knew, Quincy’s were after birth). She also said his head was a little on the large side, and then chuckled while glancing over at the boys and said, “But I see that it runs in the family.” Yes. He will get that from his Grandpa Loren and the Lindquist side of the family. It’s okay…. Better than a too small of a head, I say. For this reason alone I’m grateful for a C-section verses a vaginal delivery.

Symptoms: experiencing daily back contractions, though they are irregular (no set times of the day or any set length of time) and come and go throughout the day. I can for the first time feel that little Pula is trying to “engage” in my pelvis, but alas it’s not happening. I’m much inclined to think that my doctor’s correct in her assessment that I have a heart shaped pelvis because although I can feel him trying to descend he’s mostly just pushing bone on bone—which is extremely painful. Perhaps I haven’t been blessed with good “birthing hips”, but that’s why I live in a wonderful world with great doctors and modern medicine. Thank goodness. I have a hard time sleeping, my potty trips are a little more frequent once again, but mostly I can’t get comfortable and spend much of the night tossing from side to side. I can’t wait to be able to sleep on my back once again! The other thing that is bothering me are my joints. Squatting up and down is rather painful; I don’t know how people can become obese because carrying an extra 25ish pounds is plenty painful enough for me. It does make me rather excited to work out though, which is kind of a bummer that I have to wait 6 weeks—but first things first, healing my body, and then I’ll lose all this weight! I recently got back my results for the Group B step test and found out that I was positive. Luckily I’m having a C-section and so I don’t really have to worry about passing any infection to the little one.

Emotional symptoms: feeling pretty irritable, little things bug me more than usual (I’m chalking this up to lack of sleep and constant pain). On the flip side I’m in full on nesting mode and have already set up the crib, pulled down the baby clothes and organized them in the drawers and closet, put all the diapers in our changing table, bought new pacifiers, and washed all our bottles. Over all I’m anxious to see our little guy on his big day. There is perhaps a part of me that’s a little anxious (in a nervous way) about my actual delivery day. However, I’m hopeful that since I’ve done this two times I will be able to benefit from all the knowledge I’ve gained about my body’s ability to handle the drugs, and the pain. I know, from experience, the worst part is sitting on the edge of the table holding a pillow and leaning forward (as if that’s possible at this stage in the pregnancy) while the anesthesiologist gives me the spinal block. Although it feels like a pinching, burning sensation in my spine (not exactly the most fun thing ever) what makes it the most difficult is that Tyler can’t be in there to hold my hand. There is, however, a smiling nurse holding my hand and reassuring me that it will be done quickly. But nothing makes me feel as good as when it is over and Tyler comes in. That’s when I can finally relax. Then there’s the traveling to my room part which generally onsets bouts of vomiting, but I’m hoping that from the last time we have figured out the best nausea cure for me. I take comfort in these small bits of knowledge, and of course the fact that it all results in having a healthy baby boy. That—is by far—the most IMPORTANT thing.

Our boys’ feelings right now: Quincy is very excited, he understands the concept that our baby will be coming out of mama’s tummy and home with us. He also knows that the baby will be nursing; He really can’t wait to kiss him. He is definitely a pro at the older brother routine, I have no doubt he will be a great help to me. Braxton is more eager too, although he doesn’t have a real grasp on the concept of baby coming out and home with us, he has shown excitement when we talk about Pula. He smiled quite a bit when we took out all the baby clothes and moved his clothes down to the bottom drawer. He thought it was so funny when I showed him the tiny socks, and little mittens, and tiny pants. He now opens up the second drawer and says “bebee” (baby). He really likes to see other baby’s too. When we ask him where his baby is, he doesn’t hesitate to point to my tummy. There have been a few times while I’ve been having contractions and wincing in pain I’ve told him “baby is giving mama owies” and he has come over to me and kissed my tummy, it is SO sweet. While we were around my cousin and her 8 ½ month old little baby boy Braxton took it upon himself to pick up his binky and put it back in his mouth each time he would spit it out. After he put the binky in and was satisfied that little Oliver was okay he would smile at him and pat his head. I can tell his big brother instincts are there and will continue to develop as we welcome little Pula home. We made a paper chain at the start of March and it’s been fun for them to watch it shrink. Each day we take one circle off and count how many are left. Each time we take one off and count the days left I tell Braxton: “Only___ more days until Pula comes out of mama’s tummy. Then you can hold baby.” He just smiles and looks enthusiastic.

Baby Pula,

We sure are anxious to see all ten of your fingers and toes, look into your blue (assuming you take after the rest of us) eyes, feel your softer than soft skin, press your body against ours, smell your sweet new baby fragrance, and kiss your tiny cheeks. You have two wonderful older brothers who are eager to meet you. They want to see what color your hair is, look at your belly button, hold you, kiss you… there is no doubt that there is an extreme amount of love awaiting you on the outside of my belly. We hope, and pray that you will come out nice and ripe and be able to feel all the love we have for you already. See you in a two short days baby boy.

Love, Mama