Tuesday, January 31, 2012

30 weeks

Well, it has finally arrived.... the last part of my third trimester. I never thought I'd even make it this far (as this pregnancy has seemed to have been lasting an eternity). But here I am: 30 weeks pregnant and getting rather excited for the last several weeks.
Highlights thus far:

--Sometime between 14-16 weeks, I believe, feeling Pula kick for the first time.

--5 months, no more morning (or rather all day) sickness. Food and I are friends again. Yay!

--6 months finding out our Pula was a HEALTHY boy. And reserving the right to name him. I know it's killing some of you not to know, don't worry only 10 more weeks, give or take a few days.

--7 months Tyler feels not little, but STRONG kicks from Pula. It's becoming more real to him.

--8 months... well, we're just getting started on that one, but hopefully it will go rather well.

Oh. I had one of those third trimester experiences where I felt a sudden urge to punch some idiot in the face while grocery shopping.

Just so you know, fellow men who are reading this blog, it is not considered polite to comment on how an expecting mother looks as if "she's going to have her baby in 30 seconds".... because if she's NOT going to have that baby in 30 seconds (or even 3 months-- thanks for the reminder, buddy) you have clearly insulted her indirectly by making her feel a.)that she's so plump and fat she MUST be having the baby right there in the grocery store or b.)that she can leave said grocery store to go home and feel depressed that she has MONTHS more to go instead of just mere seconds

Any way you want to look at it, you've done her no favor by making that thoughtless comment. Instead of saying something like: "You look tired" or "You look like you're about to pop!" or "Wow, would you look at that belly!" just shut your trap, smile at her and say: "Wow miss, you look great."

Isn't odd how being pregnant has this weird effect on the people around you? It seems that pregnancy brings out the strongest of emotions-- in OTHER people (pregnant women too of course, but that's to be expected, isn't it?) Complete strangers feel the need to make comments about your body, give you advice, and if you're REAL lucky they proceed to touch you-- mostly your protruding belly, of course, but still isn't the idea of me doing those things to a complete stranger (lets say, even a MAN) absurd?

Could you simply imagine me saying to some fat gentleman: "Wow, sir, it looks as if your belly's about to pop!" or even better... "Gee you sure did outgrow that shirt about three sizes ago!" Yes. Perhaps those comments might be tolerated from a 3 year old kid, but for ME an adult WOMAN to say that to another adult?? Surely, I would at least receive some dirty looks if not a piece of their mind.

And yet I've received those kind of remarks from men. It would be ludicrous to even think about saying those things to someone, yet everyone feels the need to say something to pregnant women.

Why is that?

I know that there are many people who relish in the experience of pregnancy, men and women alike. Witnessing a pregnant woman is like getting a glimpse of the miracle that in the process.... 


However I would like to make a small request to all those well-meaning strangers out there. You can smile at me, you can ask if I would like your help, you can ask if I would like to sit down, but please.... for the love of Pete don't comment on how big, huge, large, round, stretched, gigantic, enormous or how 'out there' my belly is.

Because while you may think it's clever small talk, what you're really doing is egging on an uncomfortable pregnant lady who's carrying a great amount of extra weight and reminding her that the only thing that's going to "pop" in the grocery store is your mouth when she socks it to ya.

All kidding aside (not necessarily about those strangers making seemingly "harmless" comments, but about me wishing I had to nerve to give it back to them) I DID hear that phrase about "having a baby in the next 30 seconds". I sort of did a double take and looked at him like: 'Uh and how would you like me to respond to that without getting all mean and ugly?' Instead I politely said, "No, I have three more months to go, thank you for reminding me" and walked away.

I'm just glad that one of my dearest school friends mother works at Winco as a cashier and upon going over to say hello to her she said to me: "Oh my gosh Kati. You are so tiny, is that all the bigger you are?"

Talk about a 180* from the last comment I got. It was the perfect thing to say to a huge, waddling, uncomfortable, pregnant lady. Thank you Janet Kays for recovering my faith in the human society and their ability to say the right thing at the right time. You lifted my spirits. You know how to make a preggo lady blush. ;)  


6 comments:

The Brewers said...

Well put. (I love the way you write!) You should make this an article in "men's health" :) But you do look awesome!

The Hammond Holler! said...

I agree you are a great writer and I feel as if I was standing right there with you in the store. Wich I kinda wish I was! You are so small for how far along you are or for even being a pregnant girl at all!? Im 24 weeks and look like "I" could have my baby in 30 seconds. Hang in there your almost done :)

Kati Howard said...

awww.... see? You guys know how to talk nice to a pregnant lady-- SOME people just don't get it. lol

Thank you!

Shera said...

I love this post. It used to drive me crazy when strangers commented on how large I was, and ecspecially when they would touch my belly!!!!! You look great!!! Enjoy the next couple of months :)

Shay said...

I don't care how much bigger you think you are than me, you look gorgeous! And I probably would have hit that man in the face. No one should talk like that to a pregnant lady, ESPECIALLY a man!

Kati Howard said...

If I could "like" comments on my blog I would "like" yours Shay. ha ha